Standing Athwart … Something

The legal skilz of Bill Schmalfeldt, pro-se prosecutor-general, seem to have taken a turn towards the surreal in the case currently at trial in Westminster, MD. You can check out the enormous flame gout that he created as he lit up everything he had – gloriously immolating himself in a default for the ages – in the document he tried to get submitted into evidence HERE.

Bill seems to have set himself up as the lone wolf in the night, standing athwart the horrible horribles of  WJJ Hoge. But I don’t think any of those of us who have been observing and commenting on Bill’s inanities could possibly believe that he would do what he did today.

I won’t pick apart the whole thing. That would be about a gazillion pages long and no one wants to read that. Well, maybe you do, but I unfortunately do not have the time to do it. Too busy eating cake, you know. Nom.

But here are my highlights from the Schmalfeldt Self-Immolation Wicker Man-esque Prison Pyre:

Continue reading

Posted in Bill, BOOM, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM | 19 Comments

Let’s Talk “Progressive”

While we wait to find out if Bill Schmalfeldt is actually going to show up in Westminster, I thought this subject would be apropos. One of the topics Bill keeps harping on is that all this lawsuit stuff – whether it be myself seeking a restraining order against him, or John Hoge suing him – is that he either doesn’t fit the requirement of what is being sought or that it’s just so awful and mean to him, personally because he is the victim of a progressive, debilitating disease – Parkinsons.

Now, I’m not here to say whether or not he has Parkinsons. I’m not a doctor, and the only definitive way to diagnose Parkinsons is after death when you sample the brain matter and perform particular tests on it.


Continue reading

Posted in Bill, BOOM, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, PLM | 20 Comments

Come Again?

So he says he’s appearing by Skype you say?

Doc No./Seq No.: 193/0
File Date: 08/18/2017Entered Date:08/18/2017Decision:
Document Name: Order of Court: Motion for Reconsideration is denied
Copies to Hoge/Kimberlin/Kimberlin/Osborne/Schmalfeldt/Breitbart Unmasked/Almighty Media

Yeah, that would be a NOPE. It’s Westminster or bust! Better start now if he’s going by bus.

Or, you know, there’s always the choice of default/sanctions/fines/jail time for contempt of court.

Such a quandry! Perhaps with proper preparation time this could have been avoided.

As for me? I’ll be getting my hair did. While eating a big ol’ slice of Martha Washington Cake. It’s dense. And tasty! With peppermint buttercream. Cuz my mama loves me so.

Posted in Bill, BOOM, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM | 34 Comments

The Mournful Wail of the Cry-Bully

Hoooooooooooooooooooooge! Hoooooooooooooooooooooge!

You can read the fun HERE.

Now let’s have OUR fun with it. Even if it was partially written by Kimberlin, Bill Schmalfeldt submitted it. He owns it.

Continue reading

Posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM, Satire | 50 Comments

Threatened Pretendy Land Twiterz Court Sanctions Fail? You Don’t Say!

So he will be in Westminster after all come Monday. Isn’t that interesting.

I guess judges aren’t as easily cowed by threats on Twitter about how you’re going to sue them and the state for alleged ADA violations. When YOU are the one who didn’t fill out the form on time for the day of the trial. And never minding that the court doesn’t have to give the type of accommodation that was being demanded – the only true accommodations being that you can easily access the physical courthouse/courtroom and that you can understand the proceedings.


I’ll have more to discuss on this later. But for now, Pretendyland Twiterz Court is still not a valid jurisdiction.

Posted in Bill, Butthurt, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM | 31 Comments

It’s Not Hoge’s Math at Issue

It’s Bill Schmalfeldt’s logic that’s the issue.

Since about April of this year, it’s been known that the Hoge v. Kimberlin et al civil case was going to trial August 21. This, despite several attempts by Brett Kimberlin to get the date moved because of apparent vacation scheduling issues.

But now, there is also the added bit of Bill being called on the carpet by the Judge in the case for not only possibly doing something wrong, but then NOT SHOWING UP to the first time he was called on the carpet for it back in July. So, kind of a double trouble – once for doing the thing, and twice for not showing up when told to. And THAT is scheduled for the first part of the 21st before they get down to the actual trial.

So, two things, scheduled for the same day. With me so far? Good.

BUT! (you always know with Bill Schmalfeldt, there’s gonna be a but in there somewhere)

Bill keeps whining that it’s so TERRIBLE that he has to be dragged, kicking and screaming to the trial. And now, because of the being called on the carpet part, he thinks he’s found a way out of it. Because… HE HASN’T HAD TIME TO PROPERLY FILE FOR RELIEF!

And, of course, it’s John who is the idiot in Bill’s world. Natch.

If Bill Schmalfeldt wanted to get specific ADA accommodations for the trial, he’s had four months to do so. There was no special need for the court to require him to be notified by another service. The service was for the carpet calling. Which Bill has *also* known about since July, but let’s never mind that for the moment.

If Bill HAD made those ADA requests for accommodations using the proper form 30 days before the start of the trial, those proper accommodations would already be taking place. But he didn’t. Instead, he’s filed a few very silly motions – one to try and Skype into the trial (yeah, you can only do that if you are represented by counsel that is present in the courtroom in most jurisdictions, but nice try!) and then another one to reconsider the request after the court denied it the first time.

Bill Schmalfeldt is following his typical pattern. He tries to throw as much mud or bright and shiny things at something to try and obfuscate from the real situation. He refuses to take responsibility for his own actions and blames everything on everybody else, all while calling people nasty names – including the innocent clerks of the court in Carroll County.  And we all know his song and dance by now, don’t we?

Bill has to show up in Westminster on Aug. 21 or else he risks angering the judge for ignoring the show cause hearing for the second time.

Bill has to show up in Westminster on Aug. 21 or else he risks defaulting in John Hoge’s lawsuit.

Bill and his sock are nattering on over on Twitter about how he will just appeal the judgement if the logical consequences to Bill not showing up occur. But then Bill will find the other, very EXPENSIVE hurdle that he will have to jump over in order to have his appeal submitted.

Are you shocked and surprised that Bill Schmalfeldt is not the legal expert that he thinks he is?

I know I’m not.

It’s good to know the laughs keep on coming even though I’ve been on vacation. And I’m still waiting on that subpoena to force me to testify to whatever it is that Bill thinks I have that is relevant in this suit. Guess that was yet another one of his impotent threats designed to get me to shut up, right?


Posted in Bill, Butthurt, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM | 20 Comments

Come See the Violence Inherent in the System!

Help, help! Bill Schmalfeldt is being repressed! Or, rather, not.


Never, ever has the management of Billy Sez advocated that violence is the answer. The response to speech you don’t like is more speech, nothing more, nothing less. Somehow I’ve just never thought that this was necessary to say, but in this day and age, words are interpreted as being the same as physical violence in direct contradiction to logic by certain groups.


It’s obvious that Bill Schmalfeldt is trying to convince people that other, unknown people, are going to physically harm him. That blogs like this one, Hogewash, Thinking Man’s Zombie, and Sonoran Conservative just want people to seek Bill out and physically harm him.

Oh please.

If you want to see a blogger that truly tries to incite violence against people, you have to go no further than HERE.

I say that unless someone is dragging @Popehat and Frey OUT OF THEIR OFFICES and BREAKING THEIR KNEES WITH BASEBALL BATS because of this, then they have nothing to worry about.

And let it NOT be said that the Liberal Grouch advocates anyone using baseball bats to break the kneecaps of either Mr. White or Mr. Frey! Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, if you have it in your mind that if Nadia Naffe were a friend of yours and some scumbag attorney used the powers of his office to dig up and use private information against her, whoever did it (or defends him) DESERVES to have their knees broken with baseball bats, let me dissuade you of that notion here and now.

That is not what baseball bats were made for.

For one thing, a wooden bat could break if it were used in such a reckless and lawless fashion. And if you think you can get around that by using an aluminum bat, guess again. An aluminum bat (unless it is reinforced with a lead center) would likely bend under such pressure.  Now, I hear the crafty ones out there saying, “Yeah? Well, what if I drill out the center of a WOODEN baseball bat, fill IT with lead, cover the tip with Plastic Wood?  Wouldn’t THAT do the job?”

Again, I say, you are wasting your time with all that effort.  Tire irons are much more readily available.

Perhaps Bill Schmalfeldt should ask the writer of that article just what he or she was thinking while indulging in that bit of apophasis that really was just a veiled attempt at encouraging violence against someone. Perhaps he would learn what true incitement was and take a lesson from it.

Oh wait. It was deleted from the Internet. Was someone worried about how it might look? Too bad the Internet is forever. Oopsie Poopsie.

Posted in Bill, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM | 53 Comments