The Schmycle Continues

I’ve been playing catchup reading a bunch of the blogs of TFS and finding out what our boy Bill Schmalfeldt has been up to. It’s hard when you are creating a successful REBRANDING of yourself and how you bring home the Benjamins. Doesn’t leave much time for pointing, mocking and laughing, but a girl has got to let her brain decompress sometimes.

Obviously Bill is marching down his “I’m gonna sue YOU and YOU and I HAVE FIGURED THIS LOLSUIT FILING CRAP OUT and you are going to go DOWN!” road and we shall see what we shall see as the fallout from that. No matter what, lulz will be harvested and the proper exercises must be undertaken to avoid the cry of “MEDIC!”

Two posts that have stood out to me recently have come from Krendler HERE (a parody post of what Bill Schmalfeldt posted HERE) and from John Hoge HERE. Between these posts, there is something that can be gleaned. Something that proves, yet again, that the Schmycle of Fail is still alive and well.

Bill is posturing, and saying that he has FINALLY figured out what he needs to do to properly file a lawsuit against those who have committed butthurt against him. That he KNOWS WHERE HE HAS TO FILE! Finally!

While this sends me into giggles because it’s gonna be funny no matter where he files, there’s something Bill has forgotten.

That 2014 lawsuit? The one that started us down the path of lolsuits full of fail? It’s chock full of goodies that Bill Schmalfeldt has failed to learn from that are even farther reaching than mere jurisdiction and filing in the correct court.

Sandwiched in between the frequent refrains of “Hoge is only doing this to make sure that I end up dead or even more disabled than my current worstest of the worst stage Parkinsons!” there is this little gem in the section where he is detailing the butthurt Stacy McCain has done him:

Bill Schmalfeldt has claimed since at least 2014 that he has been unemployable because employers do a Google search before hiring. Back then he was blaming someone else for it. But now someone else is responsible?

That’s gonna be a stone cold bitch for him to overcome in a new lolsuit. Here’s to watching Bill try!

Keep up with your stretching routines everone. This blog doesn’t pay for physical therapy after strained muscles.

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Posted in Bill, Butthurt, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ | 15 Comments

He Really, Really, REALLY Doesn’t Understand

Bill Schmalfeldt is your special kind of stupid. If you are reading here, you more than likely already knew that. You’re just tuning in for the popcorn as you watch Sideshow Blob go around and around in his circles yet one more time.

But Bill? He doesn’t realize that he’s stupid. I hope. Because that’s the only explanation that I can think of to excuse how frequently he does the same thing over and over again and thinks that he is doing something new and novel. And that it’s something that is going to allow him to GET SOMEONE this time.

So what has Bill Schmalfeldt done this time? Well, grab your popcorn bag and join me after the jump for FUN.

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Posted in Bill, Butthurt, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ, Look Deep in the Mirror | 22 Comments

Same Old Song. Same Old Dance.

My lord, doesn’t he get so damn TIRED of saying the same things? The same threats of ominous DOOOOOOM that he will rain from the heavens unless you apologize/retract/follow him/DM him/crawl on your belly and beg for forgiveness.

Nope. Not our Bill Schmalfeldt.

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Posted in Bill, BOOM, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Look Deep in the Mirror | 10 Comments

Where is Onyx, Bill?

Bill Schmalfeldt has a nasty, nasty habit of abandoning pets whenever he makes his moves. The dogs Shiloh and Raven in Maryland were left with his son when he fled to Wisconsin. Then there was poor Boris and Jake, the dog/cat combo that were left behind when he moved to South Carolina.

And now we have this.

Where is Onyx, Bill? This picture is neither cute nor humanizing when one takes in the totality of Bill Schmalfeldt’s habit of abandoning his animals for his convenience.

Where.

Is.

Onyx?

UPDATE 4:43 p.m. EST

Well, well, well. Someone made a change.

Sucks when people ask uncomfortable questions, isn’t it?

Where.

Is.

Onyx?

 

Posted in Bill, Look Deep in the Mirror | 19 Comments

The World’s Most Predictable Rerun

Oh lookie there! It’s the return of BAD ASS BILLY!

Ooooh! Choose wisely he sez. Or test him he sez.

Crimeney, can this dude get a new schtick? No, this is Bill Schmalfeldt after all.

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Posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM | 23 Comments

You Keep Using That Word

The words for the day are: DREAD and DISCOMFORT.

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Posted in Bill, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM | 15 Comments

Oh How Things Change While Staying the Same

Have you ever noticed that the more florid and fanciful his wording, the more Bill Schmalfeldt is exaggerating? It’s something that happens over and over and over again.

Take for example this lovely run-on sentence from May of last year.

If you so choose, you can read the entirety of this legal filing HERE.

But back to the subject at hand. In this legal document, Bill Schmalfeldt says he is wanting to “spend the rest of his days enjoying his retirement, the new love in his life, his new location on the beach”.

Since Bill has supposedly found a new job, I don’t know how this can be termed as “enjoying his retirement.”

As to enjoying the new love in his life, I have to ask WTF happened to poor Onyx. Because I just might lose my shit if he dumped her like he dumped the other cat and dog he abandoned to go be with the “new love in his life.”

As to his new location on the beach, I somehow don’t think that the desert sands of New Mexico quite qualify.

In the end, it doesn’t matter that Bill Schmalfeldt said one thing and then later did another thing. But it’s a pattern. And it’s the pattern that matters

Posted in Bill, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM | 5 Comments