Checklist of FAIL

I don’t even want to begin to count how many fever swamp imaginings are contained within this series of tweets, but here’s two off the top of my head. 1) LULZ come from Billy’s monkey dancing. 2) I don’t have to contact *anyone* at all to produce those LULZ.

Bill just knows so much that isn’t so.

 

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About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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131 Responses to Checklist of FAIL

  1. Toastrider says:

    We’ll have to find his next Twitter account, since derpbrainradio’s been suspended, poor thing.

    *smirk*

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Neal N. Bob says:

    “CRIMINAL BLOGS! WORDPRESS TERMS OF SERVICE! OUT OF CONTEXT QUOTES! BILL SMASH!

    Hey, where’d my Twitter account go?”

    Liked by 5 people

  3. We only have Bill’s word on the nature of those other people’s fears and emotions. Has he ever demonstrated honesty or competence in that area? Is he the best judge of other’s emotional state? Or does he have a track record of only understanding the things he wishes to be true?

    Liked by 4 people

    • JeffM says:

      Dave

      You are quite right. In addition, who in the world is telling the nuns and the management to read Billysez and TMZ, the Pope? Moreover, let’s say that the management and nuns are terrorized by either blog. Then they are idiots.

      I can see why a reasonable person might be offended by some things at TMZ: the most recent satire at TMZ, the one showing Willie in drag with a wig that appears to have been made from the pubic hair of a Sasquatch, is probably not typical of a nun’s daily entertainment. But satire and mockery, no matter how crude, are not threats. And Billysez and its commenters do not restrict their language to what is deemed de rigeure in convents BECAUSE BILLYSEZ IS NOT A CONVENT. Perhaps the nuns should read their breviaries if the rough and tumble of the outside world so offends their sensibilities.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Rob Crawford says:

    So they figured out they let an emotionally disturbed, rapidly deteriorating person take an apartment in their building, and now they’re concerned for their safety.

    The depth of his “issues” must have been exposed by these blogs, because the only threats have been from Bill.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. It’s not me they’re scared of, Robby. They know me. It’s the people who read this bullshit who might decide to try to win Sarah’s love by bombing the building. And thank you again for the admission that you continue to provoke a disabled old widower because you enjoy his reactions. That’ll sound REAL good. “We don’t have to do it, your honor. But when we poke him with a stick and he gets all mad and stuff, that’s just the best kind of fun.”

    Like

    • Pablo says:

      Bill, you’re a fucking retard. I can guarantee you that professional people are not sharing your fever dreams. You’re not going to get the girl. You’re not going to get the Boy Scout. Our friends are not serial bombers. You’re going to dance like the monkey that you are and you’re going to degenerate until you find yourself in a padded facility. That’s who you were always meant to be.

      Liked by 7 people

      • JeffM says:

        Ahh Pablo, you noticed the projection. The man who is friends with a serial bomber (a VERY rare type of criminal) assumes that others are also likely to have such friends.

        He was silent there for a while, and Billysez was dark. He starts discoursing in public and views public response as abusing the elderly. As has been pointed out almost daily now for years, virtually no one is communicating to him: he must seek out what he labels as abuse.

        Liked by 7 people

        • Neal N. Bob says:

          I asked for a list of threatening things written here. Let the record show that William refused to provide one, opting instead for dishonest hysterics.

          And he isn’t @DeepBrainRadio anymore. I think that had to do with threatening and abusive conduct.

          Oopsie poopsie.

          Liked by 5 people

          • Pablo says:

            It’s those damn right wingers who keep lying about him. I mean, it’s not like Twitter and Microsoft have actually looked at what HE was doing with their services before deciding they didn’t want him doing those things with their products.

            Right, DUMBFUCK? How many times has Twitter fallen for these outrageous (ELEVENTY!!!) lies?

            Liked by 6 people

          • Neal N. Bob says:

            Having suspended literally dozens of his accounts, Twitter must be a charter member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, reporting directly to Lucienne Goldberg and Kenn Starr.

            Liked by 2 people

    • Rob Crawford says:

      So you tell the nuns these lies, Wee Willy? Why do you terrorize them so?

      Liked by 6 people

    • Minemyown says:

      You are the only one associated with a convicted terrorist bomber.

      If the management of the building where alarmed by these blogs then that is why they have lawyers.

      Liked by 6 people

      • JeffM says:

        Indeed. No one has been put in harms way, and if there was any risk of such harm, the lawyers for the facility would be all over it. Witless Willie expects his readers to be naive and stupid. The one who comes across as mindbendingly stupid is Willie, either for believing his own twaddle or expecting any functional adult to believe it.

        Liked by 5 people

        • Neal N. Bob says:

          As I remember it, William proudly declared on more than one occasion that Cindy and Cardinal were poised to bring ruin on all his enemies, both real and perceived. Agiledog and BusPassOffice in particular were to feel the merciless hand of justice upon their respective brows.

          And then … *crickets.* William never mentioned it again, which is his unique way of denying that he said it in the first place. Something almost identical happened when the Rice family was unleashed to bring “hell” unto us all. Instead, we got an incredibly polite note from Jim.

          Liked by 7 people

    • rt895 says:

      Bill, YOU are the one who is Excellent Friends with a serial bomber, not one of us.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Nobody, ever said they want you to blow up. Many have suggested you should shut up.

      Liked by 1 person

    • MJ says:

      No, Bill, they are acquainted with you. They do not know you because you will never tell them what you did. You lie to us, you lie to them, you lie to everyone. You don’t know how to be anything other than a liar. You’re not disabled, you’re hampered. Disabled would imply incapacity. You seem to never know when to quit.

      Liked by 4 people

    • BusPassOffice says:

      They know you? Uh, that’s, not what they told me. In fact not even close. Maybe a more direct communication. Up the chain is necessary now that. Bombs are being mentioned by the bombers mouth piece and compatriot.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Gus Bailey says:

      “We don’t have to do anything untoward; just talk about things it writes for public consumption, your honor. But when we poke him with a stick and it reads our commentary he gets all mad and stuff, that’s just the best kind of fun.”

      Fixed it for him.

      Y’know, most people use sticks to poke things that are too disgusting to touch with ungloved hands.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. This Other Latin F*cker says:

    No one has ever written anything about bombing Bill’s residence. If the management there thinks so there is only one way they could have gotten the idea. Bill lied to them to stir up trouble. Or he lied AND forged emails. We know he loves him some lying and forging.

    Bill, why are you so fucking stupid? Were you always like this or are you getting stupider with age? Can you point to one single place here, on TMZ, or at Hoge’s place where anyone threatened to bomb your apartment building? Of course you can’t. You pulled that out of your ass. (And we all know he has extensive experience pulling shit out of his ass. Then rolling it into little balls and sniffing it)
    So go ahead Bill. Man up and produce the post where someone threatened to bomb your building. And copying old threats from you pedo pal The Speedway Bomber Brett Kimberlin doesn’t count.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Minemyown says:

      No one has ever written anything about bombing Bill’s residence. If the management there thinks so there is only one way they could have gotten the idea. Bill lied to them to stir up trouble. Or he lied AND forged emails. We know he loves him some lying and forging.

      Microsoft did cancel his email account citing illegal actions as one of the possible causes.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Neal N. Bob says:

        Funny how that works, isn’t it?

        Come to think of it, I believe that William is alone in having obtained multiple restraining/no-contact orders from across America.

        But they were all obtained through lies. Judges are incredibly gullible. Never forget that.

        Liked by 3 people

        • Dr_Mike says:

          He’s certainly alone in our little circle, and as I understand, getting ANY restraining/no contact order without PHYSICAL contact is difficult at best. Bill’s at six so far, I have no doubts he can run the table the hard way, just give him time.

          Like

          • This Other Latin F*cker says:

            Point of order, Bill is at 7 restraining/non harassment orders. And he has a hearing coming up in IL in a week or so to see if the 7th is made permanent.

            Like

    • Gus Bailey says:

      Good point TOLF, the only bomber on anyone’s radar is Brett Coleman Kimberlin, Bill’s self described excellent friend.

      Of course, we know Brett as the guy that drove Bill to court to watch him lose in multiple Protective Order cases back in Maryland.

      Granted, Brett Kimberlin does run, what, two separate non-profits with VERY interesting 990s; but he’s been out of the bomb making/setting/detonating/maiming business for decades. I wonder if it’s like riding a bike?

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Sam says:

    “I won’t be commenting here anymore. Now, turn your Yorkies loose and dance to their shrill yapping.”

    Bill Schmalfeld; weakling. Can’t even handle his own emotions so he acts like the tough guy with other people. They point and laugh. He blusters and claims to be walking away. They point out that he has made this promise before and he will be back. he lasts a few days and monkeydances his way right back into the thick of it. Because he’s a weak, weak man.

    Rinse, lather, repeat.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. agiledog says:

    If William M Schmalfeldt Sr.’s lanloard, Cardinal Capital Management, is reading here, after being informed by Mr. Schmalfeldt of threats, they should be aware of the following (which I also posted on another site):

    Bill has asked us to name the innocents he has wronged/harmed. Here’s one: my wife. That horrible and disgusting photo he sent to her business, along with his attempt to harass and intimidate her in front of her co-workers, was just the start. He threatened to ruin her business. He threatened to take her business away from her. He published a picture of us that he stole from her website (the image is copyright, BTW). He sent her another email at her personal account. He followed her on Facebook so he could track what she was doing. He has called her fat, ugly, and other insulting terms. He has harmed her, and she has never done anything to him, mentioned him, spoken to him, spoken about him, or ever read his blogs or twitter rants. He is a liar.

    Bill has said that he dropped his lawsuit and moved to Wisconsin to get away from us. Yet he continued to send me unsolicited, harassing emails AFTER doing these things. I submitted these emails as part of my request for a Harassment Prevention Order – they are now public records, which prove he continued this conflict after he moved. He is a liar.

    Bill has said that he hasn’t lied in court documents. He sent the court a letter for the Harassment Prevention Order hearing that was held 9/30/15. In that letter, which was submitted as his statement, and therefore a court document, in describing his “only” contacts to me, he said he called my house, and then when he didn’t get a response, he emailed my wife at her business. This is a lie. Before he called, and between the first call and the second, he sent me several emails. He even submitted an attachment to his court statement that is a copy of the email exchange from one of these emails. So he lied in a court statement about his harassing actions, for a hearing about his harassing actions, and submitted proof to the court that he lied. He is a liar.

    If Bill has told someone a “fact”, it is in their best interest to use due diligence to verify this “fact”.

    Liked by 5 people

    • agiledog says:

      Yes, I actually can spell “landlord” – I just like being different.

      Liked by 5 people

    • I love that photo.

      Multiple copies at 35 yards makes for a pretty fun day at the range. It’s like The Walking Dead.

      Like

    • I don’t believe I threatened to ruin anybody’s business. And even in that condition, Gail remained the most beautiful human being I have ever known. I thought a wife might have enough compassion to convey to her hubby that he was mocking the death of a flesh and blood human who was deeply loved by many. I misjudged her capacity for compassion. But I don’t think little old me has the ability to ruin anybody’s business.

      Like

      • Dianna says:

        Ability? No. Desire? Yes. As proven by the emails AD submitted to the court.

        You are also a frequent utterer of threats. You have used “Die in a fire” as a sign off almost as often as you have bizarrely threatened someone and then said, “be well.”

        Your impotence is all that keeps you from being an extreme threat to everyone around you. Your malice is your most apparent trait.

        Liar.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Dr_Mike says:

      This would be the photo he took, thumb in the corner and all, of his dying wife in a hospital bed. Which he then copyrighted, then emailed to seven LEOs in Maryland while cc’ing WJJH3, saying “if this gets out Hoge dunnit!” and then a mere twenty minutes later emailed it to AgileDog’s wife’s shared work email account, and attempted but failed to email to Massachussets local LEO, then the next mornign swore AgileDog had been publishing his private, copyrighted photo, which he had not sent to AD, but sent to at least 9 other people, and was threatening grave legal consequences?

      Just checking, that photo?

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Kobayashi Maru says:

    Speaking of Bill Schmalfeldt and violence:

    Liked by 5 people

    • Kobayashi Maru says:

      Liked by 5 people

    • Kobayashi Maru says:

      And who could forget this entry from Bill Schmalfeldt’s Greatest Hits? Do “the nuns” know about this? https://popehat.com/2013/08/06/true-threats-true-incitement-or-truly-crazy-the-rhetoric-of-deranged-cyberstalker-bill-schmalfeldt/

      “Last year, between Christmas and New Years, Bill Schmalfeldt posted a fantasy about mob violence and murder, enthusiastically imagining the death of Patrick Frey and me.

      He posted our office addresses and phone numbers, and then — using the rhetorical device of pretending that we had been “whining” about being “targeted” — said the following. I quote it rather extensively because the entire context is important and because he may memory-hole it.

      I say that unless someone is dragging @Popehat……and Frey OUT OF THEIR OFFICES and BREAKING THEIR KNEES WITH BASEBALL BATS because of this, then there is nothing for them to worry about. Words are just words, and they cannot harm you. “Sticks and stones,” as they say.

      Or, baseball bats.

      And let it NOT be said that the Liberal Grouch advocates anyone using baseball bats to break the kneecaps of either Mr. White or Mr. Frey! Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you have it in your mind that if Nadia Naffe were a friend of yours and some scumbag attorney used the powers of his office to dig up and use private information against her, whoever did it (or defends him) DESERVES to have their knees broken with baseball bats, let me dissuade you of that notion here and now.

      That is not what baseball bats were made for.

      For one thing, a wooden bat could break if it were used in such a reckless and lawless fashion. And if you think you can get around that by using an aluminum bat, guess again. An aluminum bat (unless it is reinforced with a lead center) would likely bend under such pressure. Now, I hear the crafty ones out there saying, “Yeah? Well, what if I drill out the center of a WOODEN baseball bat, fill IT with lead, cover the tip with Plastic Wood? Wouldn’t THAT do the job?”

      Again, I say, you are wasting your time with all that effort. Tire irons are much more readily available.

      And I am NOT saying that Patrick Frey and Kenneth White deserve to be dragged from their offices, out to the street in front of their offices, and thus have their knees broken by ANYTHING, be it a tire iron, or a lead pipe, or a lead-filled baseball bat. Nor should they be taken by a group of four or five strong men (or women) and thrown in front of a moving truck. You would have to consider the emotional damage that would be done to the innocent truck driver, unless the truck driver agrees to be part of your conspiracy in the first place. And a truck might swerve to miss Mr. Frey and/or Mr. White, the driver could lose control, jackknife his trailer and cause a lot of damage to people and property. And if it’s a truck with a hazardous payload, like sulfuric acid, I don’t think I need to tell YOU how severe the environmental damage would be.

      So, NO! Do NOT hit Mr. Frey and/or Mr. White with baseball bats or lead pipes or tire irons on their knees, arms, elbows, shins, or any other parts of their bodies. It would be painful and degrading, moreso to you as an outraged, but otherwise law-abiding citizen. It would ruin your life. If the authorities caught you. And if they did, if they pressed charges. I understand in some communities, the authorities tend to turn a blind eye to bullies getting their deserved comeuppance. I don’t think Los Angeles is such a community.

      So, let’s leave things as they are. Let Mr. Frey and Mr. White FEEL they are being retaliated against in a war of words they started and are being smeared with feces being hurled back at them after being first hurled BY them. Let yourself not be dragged down to the Neanderthal level of a Mr. Frey or a Mr. White (or a Mr. R. Stacy McCain or a Mr. Lee Stranahan or a Mr. Ali Akbar or a Mr. Aaron Worthing) and degrade yourself by using brute force to punish them for their many, many alleged (by me) crimes against nature and humanity.

      Know that the sternest punishment one can legally employ against such blackguards is the sure and certain knowledge that when they awake in the morning, they will still be…

      Them.

      And let God deal with their sins. As He will. Probably with sores and painful boils. On their faces.”

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Dianna says:

    I am picturing the reaction of this latest victim, and I’m not happy about it.

    This isn’t funny for her.

    Like

  11. AReader1 says:

    This “feeling threatened” is an old Bill Schmalfeldt routine. He uses it to apply for restraining orders, which he later drops after putting innocent parties through needless costs, while claiming that they are “pussies” and he never really felt threatened. That’s what he did here, after Grady traveled to Maryland from Chicago to defend himself. Bill didn’t even bother to show up.

    “The things being said by folks like you, Flynn, and “Paul Krendler” Kiernan, and others to encourage Grady into seeking revenge have alarmed me sufficiently to take out a peace order against Grady. He will be violating the law if he comes anywhere near me, contacts me, or has anyone else contact me. ”

    –Bill Schmalfeldt, http://blubbersuesbloggers.com/did-bill-schmalfeldt-torpedo-palatinepundit/#comment-396

    Like

  12. BS’s posts here are getting progressively more disturbing. Anyone, especially any woman, local to him would probably have no trouble at all getting a restraining order based on the his creepifying online statements from just the last few days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Neal N. Bob says:

      Can I be the only one who remains amazed at just how quickly William can make himself look more ridiculous than he did the day before?

      Behold the Billogic! “You only hate me because I stood up to protect the rights of my bomber friend, who you shouldn’t be mad at, on account of his not having bombed anything in a really long time. But if you keep this up, someone will bomb my building!”

      It really is something to behold.

      Liked by 4 people

  13. JeffM says:

    If Brett Kimberlin engaged Witless Willie to distract attention away from Kimberlin’s criminal past, Kimberlin is far more stupid than Willie, which is quite an accomplishment. After all, it’s no skin off Willie’s nose if people are reminded to comment on Kimberlin’s spree as a bomber. I have never seen one milligram of restraint reported of Willie, and if the word “bomb” passes through his mind, it is likely to spew out on the internet, inducing immediate reference to the Speedway Bomber.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. The 13th Duke of Wymbourne says:

    Liked by 1 person

  15. You kids gonna listen to my show today? It’s on in 4 minutes, http://bbsradio.com/deepbrainradio — you can’t really know HOW MUCH I suck and what a miserable FAILURE I am, unless you sample the good, right? Unless… you’re a liar or a smear merchant.

    Like

    • MJ says:

      I didn’t see anything in the twitter feed…

      Liked by 5 people

    • Rob Crawford says:

      I know you’re a miserable failure because you “rebrand” every few weeks/every time the free trial period expires. Successful broadcasters are folks like Gary Burbank — 36 years controlling his time slot in Cincinnati — and on the Internet like Mike Duncan (History of Rome Podcast/Revolutions Podcast) and the WDW Today gang.

      Generally successful broadcasters of any sort don’t broadcast sexually charged “skits” about Scouts, as well.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Pablo says:

      “If you don’t step in this dog shit, how do you know it’s dog shit?”

      Like

  16. JeffM says:

    Some people have the oddest notions. If I have read some things written by an author when taking pains (say a legal complaint) and found it to lack logic, erudition, or competent prose, I do not need to sample more to conclude with a high degree of confidence that the more will be similarly worthless.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Gracious, but you folks are just dense. It wasn’t me that brought up the idea of residents and staff being harmed by some nut reading your blogs. That was the management. That’s why the Saint Francis police have been brought up to speed on the situation, including names, addresses and phone numbers of people to be contacted should something “uh-oh” happen to me.

    You assume you know all there is to know about me. But you don’t know a thing that your masters don’t want you to know. You believe any defamatory lie you’re told if it fits with your preconceived notions, which is why you are right wing nut cakes in the first place.

    And your gentle mistress could save Sarah “Rose” Goodman a great deal of heartache and expense of she just had the courage to drop the pretense… assuming she’s NOT Sarah “Rose” Goodman of the Canton of Middlegate in the Kingdom of Atlantia like she said she was back in October. Remember your little note about your artsy blog? This is the one, in case folks want to check out your taste in fine fabrics.

    Do you deny this is your blog, Sarah? http://syeleandherstash.wordpress.com

    Would you deny that you said, right here, on this blog, that you were starting another blog devoted to your artsy side?

    Or is it yet another in a long list of AMAZING coincidences?

    Quit defiling yourself, Syele von Damp Crotch. You are who you are. Come to terms with it. The end of hiding time has come!

    Like

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  19. JeffM says:

    It borders on gross negligence for management not to seek some restraining orders if they are truly worried about any resident or employee being harmed. Anyone been served yet?

    And once again with the weird idea that if A does not disclose his or her real identity, any annoyance suffered by B from C is the fault of A.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Listening to my show right now, in fact. Oh, the horrible failing of failing failure. Oh, the horror of it, the sound of myself flailing about, flapping my arms and gobbling, and not making any sense whatsoever. Oh, God, please take me now so I can stop failing with failure in the failing fail I fail to fail.

    As far as I know, none of you has accomplished a single god damned thing in your miserable, picayune lives. Running down my accomplishments must make you feel better about the fact that you are wasting oxygen.

    Comfort yourselves with my imaginary failures as you live your imaginary lives.

    Like

    • Joe Smirnoff says:

      The Mayo’d One has accomplished only one thing…the art of lying! Who would want to listen to sh!t? I know I don’t!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sam says:

      Oh Bill…Bill, Bill,Bill…there is not a soul who has ever posted here who would trade their life for yours.

      You’re a man who has to come to place full of people who hold him in contempt to BEG them to pay attention to him! And this after he, in a moment of self-control failure, promised he would not post here again. And what did I say? I said “Suuuuuure you won’t!” Because everybody knows that you Just. Can’t. Help. It.

      You are a weak and friendless man. Had you a shred of decency you would be worth a little pity, which ain’t much but it’s more than you’ll get.

      Gail seemed like a nice lady though, and she was definitely from a nice family. Pity her last years were spent with such a self absorbed creepy narcissist. She deserved better.

      Liked by 1 person

    • My life’s accomplishments incude the fact I could keep a job for more than 2 years. (And I know you will tell us about your stints in the Navy, but bedsides that)

      Like

    • Kyle Kiernan says:

      hey! the “oxygen waster” line is mine you big plagiarist (note to DF: person who copies other peoples stuff)!!

      Like

  21. Neal N. Bob says:

    Perhaps the most amusing things about today’s developments is that William seems to seriously believe that having the same police that have repeatedly served him with restraining order paperwork in a short period of time paying closer attention to him is a good thing.

    As is the case with everything he believes, William is almost certainly wrong.

    Evening officers. That’s spelled S-C-H-M-A-L-F-E-L-D-T for your records. William gets it wrong from time to time.

    Liked by 2 people

    • JeffM says:

      Does anyone remember when the entire federal police apparatus was supposedly going to investigate a prank sent by mail? I do.

      I’m not holding my breath for the supposedly forthcoming restraining order denying people the right to comment on a blog.

      Liked by 3 people

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