Whatever Helps…

him sleep at night.

Screenshot 2016-02-22 21.58.25


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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26 Responses to Whatever Helps…

  1. agiledog says:

    I think the drugs and alcohol make sleep easier, but his stupidity and cluelessness surely help.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. MJ says:

    His prognostication skills have yet to improve from zero credibility.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jane says:

      One of the many ways self-described HappyMyWifeDied TheMerryWidower demonstrates it cannot learn: The fat freak continues to make the same ridiculous predictions of success despite the consistent FAIL throughout its miserable existence, and repeatedly filing essentially the same FAILsuit against essentially the same people, for essentially the same reasons, based on essentially the same lack of reading comprehension both in reading the law, and compiling what the dementia addled freak stupidly believes is EVIDENCE!!eleventy!!

      And if that isn’t proof enough the loathsome loser is incapable of learning, I direct your attention to restraining orders two through eight, and especially restraining order number nine, and the fact its continuing pattern indicates it really is trying to collect all 57.

      Liked by 4 people

  3. crawford421 says:

    Once again, Bill fantasizes about targets that won’t fight back.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Paul Krendler says:

    Let’s review:

    I asked “Who called Sarah Palmer’s estranged husband?”

    DUMBFUCK lied, “Not me.”

    I produced an answering machine message WITH A TRANSCRIPT, which states, in relevant part: “this is a call for Michael William Palmer. My name is Bill Schmalfeldt, I‘m calling from St. Francis, Wisconsin.”

    If you weren’t calling Michael William Palmer, DUMBFUCK, who did you think you were calling?

    The Latin you want to look up here is mens rea, DUMBFUCK. It won’t help you.

    And then, before he even knew I had the recording, I said he would spend the rest of the night trying to spin his way out of the lie.

    And guess what he did?

    Because the poor DUMBFUCK just can’t help himself.

    “I didn’t call Michael William Palmer! I only TRIED to call him!”

    “It doesn’t matter that I tried to call him! How’d you get that answering machine message that I had no reasonable expectation would remain private?”

    “So what if I lied? It doesn’t harm my credibility!!”

    oh…I guess that would be true, wouldn’t it? DERP

    “Fuck you anyway for stealing my false memories! WAAAAAAH!”

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Jeanette Victoria says:

    Hunnm where have I see this before…..

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Gus Bailey says:

    I’ve been away lately, routine server maintenance nothing to worry about; but I have missed praying for Bill with y’all. So I’m back.

    Now, with this next prayer, I want everyone to understand that while it’s a funny joke; I don’t have any idea if Bill is in an abusive relationship with Johnnie Walker and I don’t care (well I care, but I don’t want to know). So I want everyone to understand that I am in no way implying nor imputing that he has a drinking problem; nor should anyone infer such. No, Bill has a problem with the internet and the perverse sense of validation it gives him when he messes with other peoples’ lives. I am asking that we pray for Bill’s mental health and his ability to “just say no” to being a troll.

    O blessed Lord, you ministered to all who came to you:
    Look with compassion upon all who through addiction have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of your unfailing mercy; remove from them the fears that beset them; strengthen them in the work of their recovery; and to those who care for them, give patient understanding and persevering love.

    This is not a joke; for those of you who believe, please pray with me.

    Liked by 7 people

  7. Toastrider says:

    Wait, default to what? Has he even served our hostess with actual papers?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Occam's Toothbrush says:

    Were one to do another of those Downfall parody videos the line “It has no bearing on the case in chief, and since Sarah and Eric are going to default, it means nothing” would be perfect for the part where Hitler dismisses the comments of subordinates and says Steiner’s attack will break the blockage around Berlin.


  9. Dontwannaknow says:

    I think this might be Billy’s theme song. What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. wpdavidd says:

    Wishful thinking? Whistling past the graveyard?

    “If they default it means nothing.” (paraphrased)

    How much will it mean when they don’t default?

    Liked by 1 person

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