Jeff Foxworthy has a comedy skit where he described what he and his young buddies used to do in high school – they would drive around, flashing their naked buttocks pressed against the car window to little old ladies to scare the living bejezus to them. It’s a funny skit, as we all know or know of at least one person – usually a teenage boy – who has done that. Every now and again (maybe once a year or less) I get a chance to throw in a reference to a “pressed ham” or “lowering the bomb bay door” when talking with friends who are familiar with the skit, and we all giggle.
The purpose of mooning someone was to embarass them, get them flustered, blushing, running away and hiding. Teenage boys love to do that sort of thing. Until Sheriff Harcus comes looking for them to explain what in the heck they’ve done to old Miss Lucille to make her run off the road into a ditch.
When a grown man decides to do that? And thinks that it’s appropriate to do on the INTERNET? No. Just, no.
This is Bill Schmalfeldt’s version of the pressed ham. With it, he is going to make you stop. And he is going to make you pay. With his ass.
He thinks that putting a picture of who he believes to be Krendler’s wife on his ass like it’s a tattoo is going to make Krendler do… what, precisely? Nevermind that we’ve never seen a picture of Krendler’s wife. I’m told that she is a Rule 5 Wife, but since she is a zombie, well, that could be a range of looks so I’m not quite certain where to go with that. Perhaps she’s not as decayed as some? Or perhaps zombification becomes her?
The simple fact that he has let his hatred for Krendler blossom into a full-fledged obsession may result in his getting some specialized treatment. Bill needs to hang onto his ass.
Let’s just hope it happens before he decides to photograph his naked front and put it on teh Interwebz. It might actually break.