Who Knew That Today in History Held Such Sadness and Loss

That it could be felt on an epic and grand scale even now?

Today marks the death of a species of creature so small that most of us have never even heard of it as well as a woman of such beauty and grace that her husband spent the better part of the next two decades assuaging his grief by ensuring that she would be remembered forever.

I speak, of course, of the extinction of the Dusky Seaside Sparrow in 1987 and the death of Mumtaz Mahal in 1631.


The sparrow was a victim of both man’s encroachment on the bird’s habitat in a remote area of Florida as well as the repressive policies of the United States’ Department of the Interior which refused to allow the remaining males of the species to breed with a related sparrow breed in an attempt to bring back the population. Something about nasty hybrids and keeping the lines pure or else they weren’t worth anything or some such twaddle. It was all a part of the problem of white privilege and is to be denounced with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.


Mumtaz was a victim of the patriarchy, seeing as how she died in childbirth giving birth to her 14th child, a girl named Gauhara Begum, who lived. After a year of rending his garments and prematurely aging from grief of sacrificing his angel to the danger inherent in the letting loose his lusts upon her instead of his other wives, her widower Shah Jahan decided that the only thing to do was build a monument in her honor and to properly bury her so that he could atone for his sins. So he spent the next 17 years building the Taj Mahal, which survives to this day. Unfortunately, Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal were both of brown skin, so this cannot be blamed on white privilege. The Patriarchy will have to do.

Listen to the evils perpetrated upon women and helpless creatures of the Earth! Let us cry out at the indignities they have received, and vow that it shall occur no more! SMASH THE PATRIARCHY! SMASH WHITE PRIVILEGE!



About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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6 Responses to Who Knew That Today in History Held Such Sadness and Loss

  1. Paul Krendler says:



    Liked by 1 person

  2. This Other Latin F*cker says:

    By any chance did they include a hideous clock on the Taj Mahal?

    Liked by 4 people

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