Is going to end up being a throwing star that can be used against Bill Schmalfeldt from MANY different angles. This is gonna be FUN!
See that white button? The white button that can ONLY BE USED IN HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX!?!?!?!?!????
This means that it will not work at the grocery store down the street. It will not work on the walk in the park. It will not work in the biergarten. It will not work at the post office. And oh, wait! It WILL NOT WORK AT THE MILWAUKEE COUNTY COURTHOUSE!!!!!
Let me translate for you from Bill Schmalfeldt into real people talk:
It is meant to PROTECT me from soiling myself with my fear pee. Because I want something that will make people think “oh, look at that poor, poor pitiful man! We must let him do WHATEVER HE WANTS, even if it harms someone else.” Because look at my smug face in this picture I just repeated THREE TIMES! I don’t believe in taking responsibility for myself because I’M BILL SCHMALFELDT DAMMIT AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE UPON JOHN HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
Again, Bill Schmalfeldt to normal person speak:
My argument for personal jurisdiction was IGNORED by the judge! The argument should have WORKED because it WORKED when John Hoooooooooooooooooooooge used it on me in a case where the issues surrounding personal jurisdiction were COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! But I don’t care because I’m BILL SCHMALFELDT, DAMMIT! And I’m SMARTER and PRETTIER than John Hooooooooooooooooooooge and you can’t do this to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! So now I’m going to clutter up the docket (oh wait, where did I do that recently? I can’t remember…) with my flailing and sympathy ploys but it will be JOHN HOGE who is the awfulest person to EVER walk the face of the earth if he DOESN’T LET ME GET AWAY WITH IT! The judge will TOTALLY believe me. And then you’ll be sorry, John Hoooooooooooooooooooooge! And your little dog, too!
This is gonna be good.