Lordy, lordy, it has been quite a week already, hasn’t it? And me, such a busy bee off having way too much FUN doing things with silk and wool and linen, oh my! I haven’t been able to point and mock and there has been SO MUCH TO MOCK! I almost don’t know where to start.

I’m going to address things in a rather haphazard manner, so you will have to excuse me. But they all fit together in the end and all lead to MOAR POPCORN! In fact, I have a fresh batch of caramel corn in the oven. Won’t you join me?

When last we left Bill Schmalfeldt’s LOLSuit case against myself and EPWJ for the awful, terrible, horrible, no-good crimes that he alleges, The Honorable Magistrate Judge Nancy Joseph has been keeping her silence on things.

And, of course, SOMEONE had to go and whine to her about her lack of attention to his VERY IMPORTANT CASE!!!11!!1!!


Yes, good old Bill Schmalfeldt can’t contain himself with waiting like a normal person in a very unimportant civil suit and, you know, actually abide by the restrictions put into place by the judge. You see, there’s this moratorium on filing? And he’s already asked once for a relaxation of it and been denied? Yeah. But that doesn’t matter. Bill is a SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE and needs ATTENTION! NAO!


Oh yes. The whole Grady/Krendler thing. *yawn* How many times now has he tried suing Grady for supposedly being Krendler? I’ve lost count. But the last one was IN THIS VERY LAWSUIT! But Bill dropped him from it once already. I don’t know that the judge will respond well to him being added back in.

I don’t know about you, but I’m so over Bill’s lust to find out who Krendler is. And he says that John Hoge is obsessed? Has Bill looked in the mirror lately?

And the bit about “one of the defendants continues to abuse my name and reputation on her website.” I guess he means little ol’ me, eh? I guess if Bill doesn’t want his name and reputation damaged, well then HE shouldn’t be posting things on the internet that abuse his name and reputation like, oh, THIS:


You see, not content to just use the entire name of his lovely apartment manager (I redacted her last name as I do not hold with Bill’s habit of dragging innocents into his line of fire) he insinuates that a woman is a whore if she enjoys sex. To further that, he uses degrading imagery of an area of the body the Kinsey Study purported was a way to stimulate a woman to feel the greatest pleasure during sexual relations.

Way to show mysogyny and one’s madonna/whore syndrome complex, you know?

The complaints about EPWJ’s objections to Bill’s filthy “parodies”? Dude. It’s called protected opinion. Frankly, I think an argument can be made that those parodies cross the line there myself. The froth Bill works himself up into over it is just unreal though. Very weird.

But here’s where Bill goes more than a little off the rails.


Nope. Sorry Bill. She never EVER granted your motion to file a second amended complaint. Bill’s second amended complaint is Docket #37. Here’s what Her Honor wrote in the body of the order.


Do you, fair Zombie reader, see anything in there saying that she grants the motion for leave to file a second amended complaint? I know that I don’t.

But wait. There is more! From the same order dated April 20, 2016:


Yeah. All she granted? Was that Docket #37 could be withdrawn. So, no go.

Now, usually, I will just say that when someone misspeaks like that, that they were just confused, or they had a different remembrance of things than I do.

But in this case? Yeah, no. Bill Schmalfeldt is a lying liar who lies. A lot. And somehow I don’t think that lying to a judge ABOUT HER OWN WORDS is gonna go great for him, you know?

Then again, he learned the technique from his Most Excellent Friend Brett Kimberlin who does that sort of thing with great regularity and gets away with it. We have yet to see if the phrase “Because, Maryland” becomes “Because, Wisconsin.” We shall see.


Awwwww! The people I have sued just HAVEN’T SHUT UP like I wanted them to! Mommmmyyyyyy! And they’ve got a mean, nasty attorney who does mean, nasty attorney things. AND he’s involved in this case that has everything to do with the First Amendment, which, by the way, I want to take away from these people I’ve sued and you really need to know about what this big meanie head is doing because EUGENE VOLOKH has written an amicus brief in SUPPORT of what that mean nasty attorney is UP to, and this is the sort of thing with which we should not PUT!

Or something like that. I had a severe case of MEGO by the time I got to that paragraph and had to go lay down to recover.


Nope. She didn’t grant you a second amended complaint. Just the right to WITHDRAW it. DUMBFUCK.

And just who is obfuscating things again? Hmmmm?


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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29 Responses to DUMBFUCKS. I See….

  1. Paul Krendler says:

    Pickin a nit (cuz I’m a nitpicker!)…

    Madonna/whore is a complex, not a syndrome.

    This is a Syndrome:

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Jane says:

    Dementia-addled dependent defendant DUMBF5CK probably convinced its vile self she really did grant the request. After all, the loathsome loser wanted it very badly, so it must have happened that way. No doubt quite a bit of what self-humiliating and self-described Happy My Wife Died woo hoo TheMerryWidower believes it knows for certain is also more deliberate self-delusion.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Jeanette Victoria says:

    Dang the creeper is vulgar…

    Liked by 4 people

    • JeffM says:

      The creeper is vulgar because he has neither skill with words nor creativity. His only way to stand out is to be a boor. (Perhaps I wrong him: perhaps his mother, sister, and last wife frequently smelled like a beach at low tide, and he is merely reporting truthfully on his familial experience. To my knowledge, I was never downwind of any of them and cannot say.) It seems, however, more likely that he is permanantly trapped in the Beavis/Butthead phase of male maturation. Because boys who were scared of being rejected by girls all laughed with him at his vulgarity when they were all fourteen and he has never been esteemed since then, he is still psychologically 14 when his chronological age is 60+. Most males overcome this fear by 15. 16, or 17 and learn how to relate, first to maturing girls, then to functionally adult women. But success in every field seems to have eluded Willie after the other boys matured, developed relationships, had careers, and acted as fathers to their families.

      Liked by 9 people

      • On the point.

        I was there, and witnessed *exacty* what you posit.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jeff, even if the women in his life did smell that way, for him to express that kind of vulgarity about females he wishes to make “less than” still shows his boorishness, his mental stunting that he thinks is oh so very witty and droll.

        But we agree, completely, on where his psychological age seems to be – stuck in the Beavis and Butthead rut.

        Liked by 4 people

        • Jane says:

          Isn’t that behavior more common in boys around age 9 or 10 than in teenagers?

          Liked by 1 person

        • JeffM says:


          You mean that he may be a boor AND a misogynist? The thought NEVER crossed my mind despite all that I have been told about the power of “and.”


          My recollection (it has been a very long time since I was 9) is that boys of that age may deliberately be outrageous, but that they do not do so by flouting sexual manners because they have no interest in them. It is in early adolescence that flouting sexual manners can be a socially rewarded activity among boys. Many of them are so inept at playing by the rules that the girls are making up and changing all the time that many boys would rather mock the game than play it. In Willie’s case, however, his scatological fixations seem to suggest a 2 year old. If we average 2 and 14 we get a psychological age of 8

          Liked by 1 person

          • Paul Krendler says:

            When I was nine, a boy who liked a girl frequently chased her around the playground and recess. And if that girl was lucky enough to get caught, she usually got something like a punch in the arm, and then they were going steady.

            This lasted about 6 to 10 minutes, or until the teasing of the other boys became unbearable, whichever came soonest.

            Liked by 3 people

          • JeffM says:

            That sounds about right. The 9 year old boy is not aware of any rules and is neither trying to abide by them nor to flout them; he is simply trying to get the girl’s attention.

            I remember something similar when my daughter was 14 or 15. It was about two weeks between boyfriends. She was eager to attract boys’ attention, but seemed to have no interest in having a boy around so she would dump the latest one within days. Rather more brutal than a punch in the arm. My wife informed me that Hobbes had no clue on how nasty was the state of nature because Hobbes had never been a schoolgirl.

            Liked by 3 people

          • Jane says:

            Maybe I’ve primarily known unusually mature boys, but virtually all I’ve known had outgrown that stuff by 14, and were more focused on getting/maintaining a girlfriend. Being “cool” was their first concern by that age. At 14, boys are in 8th or even 9th grade, as a rule.

            In my experience, it was younger boys, 12 max, who fixated on sexual themes, at least some they didn’t even understand, and being outrageous to get attention.

            I base my opinion not only on my own experience decades ago, but on our offspring, their friends, and on the children I’ve known regularly volunteering at the elementary school over the last 10+ years.

            Bottom line – You estimate the fat freak’s development to have stopped in the vile monster’s teens, and I think you’re being generous with that estimate.

            Liked by 2 people

        • Paul Krendler says:

          Oh, I hope I’m not the only one who is silently screaming for a Cornholio photoshop!

          Liked by 1 person

          • JeffM says:

            I have no idea what you are talking about but strongly suspect that I will be happier if I continue to wallow in my ignorance.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. Mr Minority says:

    Well the Fear Pee King got his wish answered: https://hogewash.com/2016/07/01/qapla-11/

    Just not the outcome he wanted.


    Liked by 5 people

  5. I guess Judge Joseph will be joining the legion of Dim Girls now. 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  6. The 13th Duke of Wymbourne says:

    Well done to our gentle host, our Tennessean friend and Aaron!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This Other Latin F*cker says:

    Is it really true? Did Bill really get his ass handed to him in court yet again? Jeez, you’d think by now he would be really tired of being humiliated.

    Or he might enjoy the humiliation. Say, can someone have a fascination with young boys AND be a bottom? Asking for a cyberstalking freak.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. one handle and stick to it says:

    Wonder what Canticle and Juniper Courts’ overseers would think of Bill Schmalfeldt’s including manager Cindy in the same wheezing huffing and puffing fatass breath as calloused clitorises?
    (BTW, I’m beginning to wonder whether Canticle and Juniper Courts staff can be considered “innocents.” It begins to look like they are feeding, housing and enabling Bill Schmalfeldt while KNOWING that he is a sick sociopath with OCD, multiple restraining orders, and access to guns…


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