The Wages of FAILDOXXing


Why no. Bill hasn’t “got” me. Never will, either.

And how many FAILDOXXes did it take to bust a really paper-thin shell? Five? Six? Pathetic. As pathetic as the two attempts that he’s made to sue me. Both FAILS.


And these are two people that never even really bothered to attempt to shield who they were, other than assuming a screen name. In Dave’s case, his real website was LINKED TO HIS SCREEN NAME. And he used his real first name in the screen name! But Rockit Geenyus Bill Schmalfeldt still fumbled over that one until he crowed victory. *yawn*

And it’s David Edgren, please and thank you. He used his first initial and his last name as his screen name. Big whoop-dee-doo. Then again, he did make Bill Schmalfeldt run away in a river of fear pee over the case he tried to sue him in. Didn’t work out so well for him there, now did it? Heh.


Would da widdle monkee Munko wike a peanut? What a good widdle monkee Munko!


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Laughing at Losers, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to The Wages of FAILDOXXing

  1. Neal N. Bob says:

    The part I like even better than the childish self-glorification is “We’ll see if the court is as wrong as I am.”

    Despite no fewer than SIX bites at the lulzsuit apple and NINE restraining order hearings, the Diminished Capacity Kid has yet to craft an argument on his own that made it that far. He always loses, but not on the merits, as he’s quick to remind us. He’s too incompetent for any of it to ever to get to the merits. Shit, he misspelled his own name in two different lulzsuits.

    I’m amazed that a judge hasn’t made Lolcow Bill wear a bell around his neck and worked those fantastic udders yet.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Shakey’s d0x-fu? Seems legit.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Kyle Kiernan says:

    He’s so sure he nailed me down that to this day he refuses to put his conclusion to the test and send me a letter. Probably still shaken from that time when he feared “I” was coming to call.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Gus Bailey says:

    Is this where the hostage taking begins? “Give yourself up or I’ll faildox another innocent bystander.”

    Liked by 3 people

  5. agiledog says:

    It took him three freaking tries to dox me, and I used a name linked to my old blog, with videos on youtube with my irl name and everything. Just how stupid can he be? THAT stupid. And what did it get him? A harassment prevention order. That worked out so well for him…..

    I hope he keeps poking at the kiwi farms folks. They’ll have a field day with him.

    Oh, and TPDZ? It is Munko. As in: Dance, Munko. Dance.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Techno Jinxx says:

    Stinky has to concentrate on those he found (after being wrong multiple times) who weren’t “hiding” to keep the attention off those he has been wrong consistantly on and still hasn’t found.

    but lets give him a wee bit of credit, is is able to match a name with a user ID after all, doesnt matter much to him IF it’s the correct name of course. Just a valid name.

    and he wondes why he’s called The Fail Dox Kid, among his many other names.

    Liked by 6 people

    • crawford421 says:

      I like how he assumes only ONE person in the ENTIRE WORLD uses a given handle. I’ve only ever seen one unique username in my life, and that was unique because it was literally just random characters.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jane says:

    Don’t forget “PEMason” or whatever her handle was. Not exactly the same as the “Perry Mason” the FAILdox FOOL tried to find, but kinda similar.

    I wouldn’t mess with kiwi farms even if someone paid me my hourly rate to do it. But then again, unlike repeatedly ADJUDICATED STALKER and HARASSER BILL SCHMALFELDT, I’m not desperate to change the subject from comments about urinating on children.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Kyle Kiernan says:

    I heard Munko Carbuncle tried playing Pokémon Go, but was stopped by two things:
    1 – couldn’t find a pokemon named “Grady”
    2 – kept trying to pee on them to catch them

    Liked by 3 people

    • gmhowell says:

      Pokemon Go generally requires the ability to travel and go out of doors.

      And I’m pretty sure none of the Pokemon gyms are located at liquor stores.

      On Tue, Jul 12, 2016 at 2:15 PM, BILLY SEZ – The Failed Plaintiff Bill Schmalfeldt Feldtdown Observer wrote:

      > Kyle Kiernan commented: “I heard Munko Carbuncle tried playing Pokémon Go, > but was stopped by two things: 1 – couldn’t find a pokemon named “Grady” 2 > – kept trying to pee on them to catch them” >

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Kyle Kiernan says:

    today’s self awareness fail:

    Liked by 2 people

    • Like Bill has ever kept “the most sacrred vow of all”, Hell’s Kitchen Kate, the Japanese prostitute on stage, in public no less, Gail (while still legally married to wife #2, etc., etc. And I’m sure that if his twig and berries had worked in the last decade, he’d have done it a lot more. It’s not a virtue if you have no option but to do the right thing.

      Liked by 4 people

  10. Kyle Kiernan says:

    Of course he hates My Little Pony. Its done things he can never aspire to, like be funny, tell a good story, have followers, not FTL power dive into the sewer of bad judgement.

    Liked by 5 people

  11. Minemyown says:

    I would be perfectly comfortable sitting here all day staring at a blank computer screen.

    New rule. No more scotch, less wine.
    –Bill Schmalfeldt.

    quoted from

    If he would just do so we all would be happier.

    Liked by 5 people

    • That’s after his diagnosis with Parkinson’s, no? I thought the meds he took for it meant that he couldn’t drink. At all.

      I guess he wasn’t quite telling the truth about his alcohol usage. Surprise. (NOT.)

      Liked by 3 people

  12. Joe Smirnoff says:

    Fat Boy found the lone Armenian horseshit sending individual using the Postal Sooper Seekrit Investigative team (purely fictional and still investigating)….he is as smart as a bag of door knobs!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. JeffM says:

    Because the theme of this blog is analyzing for the public at large the sayings of Witless Willie, it may be worthwhile to analyze his more serious sayings, namely those in a court of law.

    Willie is currently a defendant in a civil case brought in the state of Maryland. Willie filed, AS HIS IS RIGHT, a motion under 2-322(a) of Maryland’s rules of civil procedure objecting to personal jurisdiction. (Basically that says that the court is not permitted to subject a person to trial.) So far so good. The court rejected the motion. Willie then failed to file a timely answer to the complaint so the plaintiff naturally and AS IS HIS RIGHT asked to find Witless in default.

    Willie objected, AS IS HIS RIGHT. So this is serious stuff. He will be found in default and lose the case unless the judge decides otherwise. Let’s look at the objection submitted by this former GS-13 writer.

    His main argument is that he had submitted motions that had not yet been ruled upon by the court and that extended the time permitted for filing an answer.

    It’s true that he has submitted motions. Here is what he says about one such motion:
    “Schmalfeldt has a motion pending with this Court pursuant to Rule 2-322(a) that the Court has not decided…. Therefore, the 15 days that Plaintiff claims have tolled since the Court dismissed Schmalfeldt’s Motion to Dismiss for Lack of Personal Jurisdiction must be disregarded as the Court has not ruled on Schmalfeldt’s Motion to Dismiss for Improper Venue.” Let’s look at Rules 2-322(a) and 2-322(f). Rule (a): “The following defenses shall be made by motion to dismiss filed before the answer, if an answer is required: (1) lack of jurisdiction over the person, (2) improper venue, (3) insufficiency of process, and (4) insufficiency of service of process. If not so made and the answer is filed, these defenses are waived.”

    Oh my. Did Willie waive the defense of improper venue by failing to raise it in his REJECTED motion under 2-322(a)?

    Rule 2-322(f) says: ” If a party makes a motion under this Rule but omits any defense or objection then available to the party that this Rule permits to be raised by motion, the party shall not thereafter make a motion based on the defenses or objections so omitted … except as provided in Rule 2-324.” So his motion about venue is clearly NOT raised under Rule 2-322.

    But what about Rule 2-324. It says: “A defense of failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, a defense of failure to join a party under Rule 2-211, an objection of failure to state a legal defense to a claim, and a defense of governmental immunity may be made in any pleading or by motion.”

    Somehow, I cannot find “improper venue” listed. Maybe it is me. Of course, it does not make any difference. Because Rule 2-321 says ” When a motion is filed pursuant to Rule 2-322 … the time for filing an answer is extended …” 322 is not the same, at least not the same to sane people, as 324.

    But what about his motion filed, in his own words, “in accordance with Maryland Rule 2-327(c)”?
    Oh my goodness. We have an oopsie, poopsie. 327 is not 322 and does not result in an extension.

    Still we are not done with the logic of Witless Willie. He asserts that the time for filing an answer is somehow obviated if the plaintiff does not know the difference between a “pleading” and “answer.” Indeed Willie waxes quite vehement on this topic by saying: “”Again Plaintiff shows his utter disrespect and contempt for this Court by trying to bamboozle the Court with this blatant attempt to rewrite the MAryland Rules to substitute the word ‘pleading'” with “answer.” Why such ignorance on the plaintiff’s part might excuse a failure to file a timely answer is left open. But was the plaintiff ignorant? Rule 2-302 says with respect to pleadings allowed: “There shall be a complaint and an answer …. No other pleading shall be allowed.” That does seem to say that an answer is a pleasing, does it not?

    Far be it from me to explain why Willie said these things. There are quite a few plausible reasons. First, Willie may have been too lazy to read the rules. Second, Willie may be too stupid to understand the rules. Third, Willie may have read the relevant rules and fully understood them, but is exhibiting his contempt for the court by filing obviously nonsensical documents. Quite possibly there are other possible explanations. Please feel free to contribute to the list.

    Liked by 2 people

    • JeffM says:

      Pleading, not pleasing.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Minemyown says:

      Willie may have read the relevant rules and fully understood them, but is exhibiting his contempt for the court by filing obviously nonsensical documents.

      No if, and’s or buts, he is exhibiting nothing but contempt.

      Liked by 2 people

    • This Other Latin F*cker says:

      I”ll go with the theory that he is stupid, lazy, and getting really bad advice from his Pedo hero. Coincidentally, his Pedo hero just threw him under the bus in his own filing but William “Stolen Valor” Schmalfeldt won’t notice that his task master doesn’t have his best interests at heart when he tells him what to file.

      Liked by 4 people

      • JeffM says:

        Yep. That one is plausible too.

        And the bomber did not just throw the blob under a bus, he threw the blob under an exploding articulated bus. There is a suit alleging a conspiracy between Bill and Brett so Brett calls Bill his “associate” in court papers. Of course, it could have been worse: Brett could have called Bill “my fellow conspirator.”

        Liked by 3 people

  14. monitor2112 says:

    IIRC Bills Our Time profile stated he was looking for a new conspirator. He actually used that word: Conspirator.

    Not smart…and Cabin Boy™ still doesn’t understand WHY that is not smart.


    Liked by 3 people

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