All He Wants to Do Is






Too bad. So sad. Won’t work. He should really ask my husband about my stubborn streak one of these days. It’ll work out so much better for him in the end that way.

Screenshot 2016-04-09 09.37.07



Screenshot 2016-02-25 08.46.32

Screenshot 2016-02-19 22.18.43Screenshot 2016-02-19 22.18.55Ashampoo_Snap_2016.02.19_09h26m21s_276_

(Remind me again, how did that work out for him? Oh. That’s right. He LOST!)

Always with the “I’m gonna sue you, you damn kids!” Always, always with the threats. ¬†One of my favorites can be found HERE. The most telling lines are the last two:

I will take full responsibility for what I have done and what I will do.

You have to take responsibility for provoking it.

Yeah, no. Cataloging someone’s threats and bad behavior towards others is not “provoking” someone. Not unless you have the emotional maturity of a 10-year-old. Or are a dog like he suggests earlier in his mini rant. But you know what they do with vicious dogs. *shrug*

Here’s another¬†along that line (He’s really been milking the whole “you don’t wanna know what I can do to you” meme for quite some time, hasn’t he?):

Screenshot 2016-07-14 19.10.15

Also, I don’t remember if I let some of the comments Bill Schmalfeldt has left in my comment queue since he was first banned back in December out into the general public. They are quite…. illuminating, shall we say?




What was that he was crying about not too long ago? Extortion? Hmmmm. Interesting. It’s AMAZING what sunlight does, really and truly.


Just in case he didn’t get my message the first time (or the second or the third or the… You get the picture!), the answer is


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to All He Wants to Do Is

  1. Toastrider says:

    Ah, the Cabin Boy. So dense you could use him as reactor shielding.

    Now he’s REALLY famous, what with that Kiwi Farms thread. Hope he enjoys the publicity. Wish I could take credit, but y’know… I’ll just settle for a cold beer and watching the fireworks.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Jane says:

      The repulsive recreant spent most of its miserable wasted existence trying to be famous. I wonder what the record is for most restraining orders from most states. The NINE restraining orders from FIVE states against BILL SCHMALFELDT may just be the world’s record for most restraining orders against a single individual.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. JeffM says:

    And notice the “Sarah honey.” It is as though he were talking to a child or lover (or a child who is a lover). In any case, Ash is none of those things with respect to Witless. What elicits such ideation, fantasy, fear or what?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Just A Thought says:

    So what are the steps to enforcing violations of a no contact order in NC?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s like being threatened by a cartoon character.

    Liked by 8 people

  5. Paul Krendler says:

    I’m always amused when he reminds us that if you piss off the badass dog, you shouldn’t blame the dog for biting you in response.

    And then I remember that you don’t blame the animal control officer for shooting that fucking dog in the face, either.

    Liked by 10 people

  6. Joe Smirnoff says:

    The Turd Roller isn’t all the bright…the fat bastard just doesn’t know when to quit; he is just too stupid to realize the hole is deep enough!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Paul Krendler says:

    Liked by 8 people

  8. crawford421 says:

    There was a great line in one of Heinlein’s juveniles that has always stuck with me: “incitement to riot is not an excuse to riot”. The only person provoking Bill is Bill. If he didn’t read these sites, if he didn’t let his anger control him — or if he LEARNED from the criticism he’s given — it would all fade away.

    Liked by 7 people

  9. JeffM says:

    I love how Willie believes that the parody version of what was posted damages his reputation any more severely than the original version.

    However, if the gravamen of his complaint is that the parody version may not be understood as parody without having the original to compare it with, that has some plausibility, at least superficially. If so, this tempest in a teapot can be cured in a clarifying post. Simply post the original and parody side by side. That way, everyone can see what was being parodied, and the parody cannot affect his “sterling” reputation..

    That ought to please him and completely eliminate any need for litigation.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. Onlooker says:

    Wait a minute wait a minute, I do believe that’s bindun, and the post clearly marked as mockery, and clearly comic exaggeration of his own awfulness. In fact, it softens his vicious bitterness into something silly.

    He’s in trouble, too. Big trouble.

    Liked by 5 people

  11. one handle and stick to it says:

    Grady? You mean the Grady who curbstomped your piece of shit LOLSUIT in federal court two weeks ago? THAT Grady? lol

    No, Billy, you aren’t shutting us up. And the harder you try, the louder (and more numerous) we’ll get.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Jeanette Victoria says:

    These wing nuts are so clueless…the last think that will happen when bullies lean on people like me and Ash is shut up……

    Liked by 3 people

    • JeffM says:

      Clueless is right. “Your stubbornness cost you a marriage.” Did it not occur to Witless that Ash considered that marriage a curse, not a blessing, and being relieved from it was a benefit rather than a cost. If something helpful is taken from you, that is a loss. If something painful is taken from you, that is a gain.

      I do not call Willie Witless just because of the alliteration.

      Liked by 4 people

  13. Samk says:

    Dance. I thought it was gonna be dance.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Occam's Toothbrush says:

    I for one am constantly entertained by the foolish fruitless flailings of that failed font of foulness, Witless Willy. I am sorry that my entertainment comes at such cost to our hosts.

    In case the Witless Wonder was unaware Wisconsin is not restrictive in its gun control laws. It is very easy to purchase a pistol. Perhaps knowing the world at large is on to him now, that he will never again be able to con a woman into caring for him, that every person who learns of him laughs at him, that his leaving this world will make it a better place for everyone perhaps he will avail himself of the .45 caliber solution. So quick, so easy. You just know he contemplates it. Lying alone in his bed in the dark of night, tortured by memories of his utter failure at life, utterly friendless. Unable to sleep without his liquid courage, unable to sleep well with it.

    It would be so easy, even he could screw up the moments courage necessary to place it under his chin and apply a few pounds of force. So easy. At last he could rest.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Toastrider says:

      He fears the endless void that awaits him. The knowledge that his years have been empty, devoid of empathy and friendship.

      Not all of us achieve great things; sometimes the best we can do is not muck up our little corner of reality. But Cabin Boy, well… he shit the bed, and now he’s got to lie in it.

      Liked by 2 people

  15. Pablo says:

    Sadly, that’s not all he wants. He wants you to fear and respect him such that you’ll obey him. I have two thoughts about this.

    1. Ewwwwwww.


    Liked by 4 people

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