Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Over at Hogewash!, John Hoge posted a filing that Bill Schmalfeldt is supposedly submitting to the court in Maryland. And even though it makes me feel like I just can’t even…

I’m going to anyway, just because the LULZ that this flailing generates are just far too good not to highlight.

First, though, I want to back up the bus a few days. To where Bill is shrieking to teh Twiterz about all the terrible, awful, No Good, Very Bad wrongs that have been done to him and the “mistakes” that were supposedly made that mean that FINALLY! he will catch his white whale, Paul Krendler and clap him in irons or some such thing. (A very homoerotic fantasy now that I think about it if you ask me, but who am I to judge another person’s sexual kink, right?)

Oh dear! It’s looking terribly terrible for our friend Paul Krendler (who Bill yet again insists is Patrick Grady (when he’s not claiming Krendler is himself, natch)). Whatever shall he do? Wherever shall he go? They are going to GET HIM! Oh NOES!

But this is, of course, Bill Schmalfeldt. And he stretches the truth lies about just about everything. Since he was being coy about it, he obviously was going to say something about it. And he certainly didn’t disappoint.

In his “MOTION FOR AN ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE WHY PLAINTIFF HOGE SHOULD NOT BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR INCITING VIOLENCE AND VANDALISM AGAINST DEFENDANT SCHMALFELDT” Billy has this to say:

(Oh my aching sides!)

It seems to me that Bill Schmalfeldt is saying that next time, instead of just him being a victim, it should be EVERYONE on the block that gets vandalized. Because that might be more … FAIR? Because obviously other people that might wish harm on other people are slacking? Or something. I leave it to the reader to decide.

But WAIT! There’s MORE!

In the exhibits, Bill lists an itemized bill for what he had to do to repair the alleged damage.

Wait. What’s that? FOUR tires you say? Not two, but FOUR? But Bill swore that only two were damaged…

Oh.

Well.

I see.

Those are some PRIME, GRADE A+++ tires there. Obviously in well-maintained condition. And they are obviously perfectly matched tires, so if you ruin one, you ruin them all, natch. Like on my buddy’s Lambo… Or not.

But certainly, for nearly $450 worth of damage, of COURSE the Kops are Koming for Krendler (again!).

Oh.

Oh wait.

I see.

But I thought Bill said this was a felony? And instead it’s criminal mischief? And INACTIVE/SUSPENDED? Oh Bill. Bill, Bill, Bill. We are going to have to just wash your little mouth out with soap with all those lies, now aren’t we?

And about that whole Grady/Krendler thing. Bill’s swearing (for the upteen-bazillionth time, naturally) that he has proof – PROOF HE SAYS – that Grady ADMITS to being Krendler.

And what does the exhibit say?

Wow. Ummm, yeah, that’s some real “admission” that whoever texted him is Patrick Grady. This all fits with Bill’s style of “if you don’t deny it, then it’s TRUE” jourminalism. Somehow I don’t think the court will look at it in the same way Bill does. *snort*

Oh, the wishful thinking Bill does. It’s enough to make you just laugh until you can’t laugh no more!

Having been on the receiving end of several of Bill Schmalfeldt’s lawsuits taught me that this motion is just like all of Bill’s other motions:

Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

As it gets closer to the time of an actual trial (something Bill’s never gotten to in all of his misbegotten lawsuits against those of us who have committed Butthurt in the Third Degree against him) I imagine that we shall see more of these flailexes.

And we get to collect the LULZ all the way to the bank.

Remember to stretch those muscles!

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About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Look Deep in the Mirror. Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Stupid Is As Stupid Does

  1. Lots of holes in his story. As usual, his so-called proof actually points to alternative theories. Those are some bad looking tires, and the rims look like somebody has hit the curb a lot. As Bill has claimed to be owed for all 4, I assume the tire place would not let him leave without buying another pair.
    I also noticed the Inactive/Suspended notation. Does that mean the Dragnet is over?

    Liked by 2 people

    • gmhowell says:

      What are the odds that someone who couldn’t drive for several years due to Parkinson’s and has a possible alcohol abuse situation would bounce his wheels off curbs on an occasional basis?

      On Mon, Apr 10, 2017 at 3:19 PM, BILLY SEZ – The William M. Schmalfeldt Feltdown Observer wrote:

      > Dave Alexander (formerly ukuleledave) commented: “Lots of holes in his > story. As usual, his so-called proof actually points to alternative > theories. Those are some bad looking tires, and the rims look like somebody > has hit the curb a lot. As Bill has claimed to be owed for all 4, I assume > the tire place ” >

      Liked by 6 people

  2. John “Minemyown” Doe says:

    He served this motion on Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin by email by prior agreement, he has no choice but to file it with the court as is.

    CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE
    I Certify that on the 10th day of April 2016, I served copies of the above on the following persons via electronic mail by virtue of prior agreement.
    William John Joseph Hoge,by email
    Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin, by e-mail
    /s/ _____________________________ William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Pro Se

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Pablo says:

    There’s a question that everyone seems to have overlooked: How the does Dumbfuck figure, even if all of his crackpot theories were true, that it constitutes contempt of court? He’s asking for a butthurt hearing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dr_Mike says:

      He seems to have a Grand Theory that Hoge paid Grady to drive two and a half hours, commit a crime on a public street, then drive home. That would be worthy of contempt of court, and just general contempt based on the lameness of the Fedruhl Crahm!!!!! I mean, the gas money would be more than the value of those poor tires.

      His evidence that Grady is Krendler is… kinda thin.

      His evidence that Grady needs money is… Grady filed for, and received, bankruptcy protection. Now, I think, filed for and was rejected would be a more compelling reason, but…

      His evidence that Hoge paid Grady or anyone elst to do this is, well, nonexistent.

      I suspect he pictures the negotiation as going like this:

      WJJH: “Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?”
      Grady: “Nuh-uh.”
      WJJH: “Would you do it for two Scooby Snacks?”
      Grady: “Rokay.”

      Expect that to appear in Bill’s First Amended Motion for Contempt.

      Liked by 6 people

    • Yes, he is very much asking for a butthurt hearing. It’s not contempt of court at all. He’s just trying to piggyback on this whole “Trump can be sued because of X” thing. Nevermind that it’s not case law at all in the way he thinks it is. Well, and because it doesn’t apply AT ALL to Hoge’s blog.

      Liked by 4 people

    • crawford421 says:

      He needs to understand that contempt of Bill is not contempt of court.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. popcornseller says:

    I’m surprised he didn’t accuse the police officer, Paul Giuliani, of being Paul Krendler. After all, they have the same first name. Wait, the report disposition is Inactive/Suspended. How’d that happen??? It must be him!

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Onlooker says:

    Geez, those rims are chewed up

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Onlooker says:

    this of course means Bill was gettin a few extra buckaroos from A short guy to hassle the door s of his enemies. Bill can usually only dream up what Bil would do.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Techno Jinxx says:

    DAMN, Bill done Fucked him self but good with that filing. (if he actually files it of course)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Dr_Mike says:

    I just realized those were Timberline tires. Johnny Atsign strikes again!

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Rain says:

    I dunno….FailWhale Willy’s last droppings suggest someone desperate to get someone else’s attention.

    I mean I know he thinks Grady is Krendler, but we all know he’s not, and deep down Dumbf5ck knows it too, but Man it must really eat at him that Grady probably hasn’t given him a second thought in at least months if not as much as a year.

    Can you imagine the toil of having to actually take care of himself is weighing on him? He better get moving on capturing a new idiot nurse to do for him so he can go back to being completely useless rather than just looking it.
    Either that or just come out of the closet already, but maybe shoot for something more attainable than a recently divorced straight man who wants NOTHING to do with you, like say a male version of the truck stop dolly.
    Just a suggestion.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. Mr Minority says:

    Sir Shit Stain’s problem is that he thinks everyone is as STUPID as he is, when no one is as STUPID as he is.

    No wonder he is so bitter and lashes out at everyone, life can be hard when you are a major DUMBFUCK.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Pingback: Patterns | Sonoran Conservative

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