On Business Trips and Court Appearances

If I wasn’t a zombie before tonight, I bloody well am now.

Yesterday found me making a 6-hour trip deep into Northern Virginia to drop off the most dangerous of beasties.

A Death Threat Eleventy Kitten.

To save my readers from certain annihilation, I have placed a picture of the dangerous creature on the other side of the jump. Click at your own risk! Zombie Morgana Enterprises cannot be held responsible for the spontaneous human combustion that may occur when you stare upon its visage.

Does she not make you tremble in your very shoes? Very tiny. Very deadly. Take in small doses and you might be all right. If you are lucky.

Unlike the feline resident in a much smaller residence several hours trip in the opposite direction from my home, this kitten will not live under the threat of being held under the water in a bathtub. Instead she will enslave her humans properly and all shall be right in the world.

After dropping off my precious and deadly cargo, I journeyed deep into the wilds of Maryland, where I spent the night with one of my nearest and dearest friends. We hatched plots and schemes which shall take several months to come to fruition. And much fun shall be had when they do.

This morning I pointed my rental car (when you deliver expensive kittens, the buyers pay for the transportation. It’s a nice perk.) and drove to the courthouse located in Westminster.

I know that WJJ Hoge has already regaled the zombie horde with what went down. And of course the lovely luncheon that was had afterward. Thank you again Roy! It was very generous of you and much appreciated. I know that we all had a smashing good time and I hope everyone has made it back safely wherever they were headed. I think Dianna will be the last to make it home for obvious reasons. It was a total blast and we should do it again sometime!

I have been informed that Bill Schmalfeldt seems to think for some curious reason that the judge is not amused with John and his filings with the court, rather than the subject of the hearing today who did not appear as he was ordered to. The zombie horde can rest assured that it was not John’s brains that the judge wanted to pick, but rather Bill’s.

One curious thing was brought up during the hearing – the subject of undecided motions that are currently before the court.

Judge Hecker mentioned that there were a few motions that were returned to their sender without being considered by the court because they were improperly filed ex parte. He was also informed by John that there are several other motions – some ripe for decision having been fully briefed, others unopposed that are also ripe as the clock for briefing them has run out. The Judge mentioned that he had not yet seen said motions but that he would be turning his attention to them in the very near future and that responses will be forthcoming.

Although it would have been interesting to see in person the tale Bill Schmalfeldt would have told the Judge as to why, precisely, he was not subject to 10-3208 (I believe that was the rule specifically mentioned. Unfortunately my pen temporarily ran out of ink at that moment in time and my handwriting is hard to make out in that spot on my notes.), it is now a matter that will be decided during the first day of the trial. The Judge indicated that he didn’t think it would take up an enormous amount of time and didn’t need to be scheduled differently – and it seemed that in hindsight his first inclination to schedule the hearing for then might have been better.

Unfortunately I won’t be in attendance at the trial, amusing though it might be to be a court reporter again. It should be interesting to see the ADA-wielding Schmalrus make his case. I shall leave it to other observers to do the reporting for us instead.

And now, this Zombie Pirate Princess is going to collapse with the rest of her Death Threat Eleventy kittens. Hit me up if you want one of the little darlings for your own. I have Scottish Kilts and Scottish Folds on hand as well as Desert Lynx and Bengals. Perhaps ordering a pizza will be within my abilities as well. Or maybe the cabana boy can rustle something up for me.


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Hypocrisy, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to On Business Trips and Court Appearances

  1. Jeanette Victoria says:

    That, my friend, is a very scary kitten, I heave a great sigh of relief that she is no longer in the great state of NC to frighten me even further!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. MJ says:

    Glad to see you returned home safely! Miss you already.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Dianna says:

    First, Squeeeeeee! Such fluffy, sleepy cuteness! Help me! I’m melting!

    Great to meet so many of you, and Roy is an entirely graciou host.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Thank you for being my guests! Rule 5 Wife was very complementary as to what fine people I know, and hopes to see you again, soon.

    She was muttering to herself about the Tahitian villas we own, as she prepped for bed, last night, so who knows?

    As for Cousin Bill, we can now add a short sub-cycle to the Schmalcycle, “fox and grapes”.


    Too bad you weren’t invited, Bill – it was “all you can eat”, and open bar/cellar, so you could have demonstrated your trencherman skills…

    And now you all know I can’t play golf for sour owl shit…😩

    Liked by 4 people

  5. wjjhoge says:

    I gave up golf and bowling years ago when I realized that if I could swap the scores, I’d come out ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

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