Failing, Part 458

Now that Bill Schmalfeldt paid attention to the docket in the case he has brought against several people and found the name of the lawyer who has signed on to represent WJJ Hoge in the suit, he’s doing his usual thing.

And by usual, I mean writing a blog post that shows how utterly clueless about the whole thing he is.

First he strikes where he thinks the iron is hot – that Mr. Nettles, Esq. is in the suit pro bono. And that when HE, Bill Schmalfeldt has had a free lawyer, he was ridiculed for a “welfare” lawyer.

Oh, Bill Schmalfeldt. Oh, how you missed the point. You see, Mr. Nettles volunteered to defend John against you. You, on the other hand, were provided a free lawyer that the taxpayers of the good State of Illinois – one that you didn’t live in by the way – paid for.

You will find there is no wiggle room for semantics here. Welfare is paid for by the taxpayers. Which is what you got. John got someone willing to represent him for free. No taxpayer money was spent on him. Hence, no welfare.

Strike one. Shall we try again?

Ah yes! AVVO! Bill’s favorite place to find legal advice.

The problem with AVVO is not that people go there for advice. The advice can be very good. The problem is that Bill Schmalfeldt has a tendency to leave things out when he asks questions on AVVO. Questions that those giving the advice really really need in order to provide good advice. The problem is with the user of the service, not the lawyers.

So, two strikes. Is there a third for the out?

Oh, but of course there is.

Lots of lawyers recommend settlement. Bill’s last lawyer recommended dismissing the case. Besides, our PACER review of Bill Schmalfeldt’s performance in front of ANY judge indicates a strong propensity to FAIL.

Strike three.

Time to start placing bets on when this suit gets dismissed, because let me tell you, this blog post shows the fear pee is already beginning to flow.

Stock up on popcorn. You’re gonna need it!


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Laughing at Losers, Lawsuit LOLZ, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Failing, Part 458

  1. Neal N. Bob says:

    The best part of the Diminished Capacity Kid’s welfare lawyer is that he decided that he’d rather forgo the money for himself and his firm and dumped Schmaleldt on his ample ass with blistering speed. If I remember correctly, the entire saga took about two weeks.

    Oliver Wendell Jones’ history with AVVO is even better, which brings us to Ely. Ely quickly became a hero and source of spiritual guidance to me. When I find myself in times of trouble, I think of what Ely would do.

    Rosa Parkinsons was blustering as usual in the lead up to his last Maryland lulzsuit. But this time, he darkly intoned, he had a lawyer! In fact, he published long tracks of text from said counsel into a blog post.

    Of course, Rosa Parkinsons didn’t grasp the concept of Google.

    His lawyer was imaginary and he copy-pasted an AVVO response his idiotic questions. Oh, how we laughed.

    A DUMBFUCK was so thoroughly humiliated by David Edgren that, after howling about “EXTORTION!!!” for a few days, he folded up his tent and was driven from Maryland forever.

    Good times.

    Liked by 11 people

  2. Mr Minority says:

    To say the Dumbfuck is truly clueless is a gross understatement. I can’t think of a word in the English language that define how Uber STUPID and CLUELESS Sir Toddler Stalker really is.

    Mind boggling!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Russ says:

    “Time to start placing bets on when this suit gets dismissed….”

    Nah. My money is on there being at least one countersuit.

    Liked by 12 people

  4. Juiceman says:

    My money is on a minimum of 3 counter suits, plus rule 11 sanctions.

    Liked by 7 people

  5. DeplorableRican says:

    What will it take to get this man committed and away form sane folks?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hoosier Native says:

    Far be it from me to repeat myself, but since I set a personal record for upticks on Hogewash with this one, perhaps it bears repeating….

    “And Dumbfuck is still going on about this “welfare lawyer” bullshit.

    Big difference here is that John didn’t file for IFP status with the court. He managed to obtain counsel who actually volunteered to take the case pro bono.

    Quite a bit different from filing a lawsuit, filing for IFP status, and then turning into the world’s biggest pussy and dismissing said suit with prejudice when his IFP status was challenged by an actual competent attorney (e.g. a REAL lawyer, not his “excellent friend” who is not only not a lawyer, he’s too fucked up to play one on TV). Or the more recent case, where the court appointed a lawyer for him, and said lawyer told him to drop the case because he didn’t have one.

    But that’s none of my business, right?”

    One addition here that I forgot early this morning (I blame it on the Chianti)…full credit to Dave Edgren on the IFP challenge in LOLSuit VI that made Schmallballz run away. Mea maxima culpa, Mr. Edgren!

    Liked by 7 people

  7. JeffM says:

    “Strong propensity to fail”? I believe that to be incorrect and unfair. “Invariable propensity to fail,” even against toddlers, is what is fair to his numerous opponents.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. agiledog says:

    We need to say it so that Bill understands.

    If he will not learn, then he will teach be the lesson.

    Liked by 9 people

  9. theman9876 says:

    It’s almost as if Bill didn’t do any due diligence when selecting a new state from which to file his next vexatious LOLSUIT. I doubt he has a clue what I’m talking about, but I always follow the TFS Rule of Never Educating the Monkey. Bill you make it easy on your enemies and entertaining for the rest of us.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. JeffM says:

    Do most successfully established lawyers give advice on AVVO? No.

    Do people who have their wits about them get their legal advice from AVVO? No.

    Are convicted felons who spent years in jail reliable sources of wisdom, legal or otherwise? No.

    Will you get good advice from anyone if you provide only information favorable to you? No.

    Will you succeed in a suit for defamation if you sue the wrong party? No.

    Will you survive a motion to dismiss if you sue in the wrong court? No.

    Will you survive a motion to dismiss if you sue for a tort not recognized by the law of the forum? No.

    Will you aid your case if you do not provide the materials requested in discovery? No.

    Will you aid your case if you fail to appear in court when so ordered? No.

    Do people respect the legal opinions or fear the legal threats of a pro se litigant who has collected an unusual number of restraining orders as a defendant and, despite numerous attempts, has never succeeded as a plaintiff in getting to trial, let alone prevailing? No.

    Do most people fail to distinguish between a lawyer paid by the court who nevertheless drops a case and a lawyer who donates his time and experience to take a case? No.

    Is mockery a tort? No.

    What makes Diseased Willy so ridiculous is not that he necessarily gets the answers to any of those questions wrong (though he may get all of them wrong). What makes him ridiculous is his thinking that he can persuade normal people to get the answers wrong.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. They’re not dead, Shakes. They’re hiding.
    In shame.

    Liked by 1 person

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