A bit back, Colonel Victor Troll Poker (Damn, I do love that name with the avatar. It’s all kinds of awesome. Shout out! Whoot!) posted over at Hogewash! on one of John’s posts about Bill. It summed up quite nicely what the vast lickspittle/zombie horde’s feelings about Bill Schmalfeldt are, what we think of his actions generally, and what we think, loosely, what he should do about it. Or rather, not do.
Because it was such an awesome post, I asked CVTP if I could have permission to repost it. Now seems an appropriate time. Thanks, Colonel!
Hey Shakey. . . you fail again, as it always was, as it ever more shall be. Bill Schmalfeldt is an engine of failure. William Schmalfeldt is a machine that produces nothing but epic, tragic failures. Congratulations, William Preston Schmalfeldt- you will die, eventually (if not soon enough,) and your legacy will be nothing more than a detailed catalog of failure after failure. Congratulations- you have managed to assemble a library of incompetent hate that will be known to the Internet for as long as it exists.
Your impotent out-lashings serve only to amplify your utter defeat. There is no point in even trying to rehabilitate your legacy- its permanently destroyed. 500 years from know, people using whatever replaces Google will run your name and get literally hundreds of pages documenting your depravity and worthlessness. The sad thing is that you built this, yourself, with your own copious, obesity enhanced sweat. You WORKED at this masterpiece of failure. You actually thought, no seriously, you did – that you would actually be able to exact revenge on the people you decided to hate.
But they are laughing at you. Krendler (who you still have not identified,), Edgren (who you are afraid of), Grady, Aaron, and, of course, Hoge- none of them fear you. At most, you annoy and disgust them. But resisting your insane rantings has become such a badge of honor that they have built an entire community solely based on laughing at your mind-boggling incompetence.
Bravo, Shakey. You have destroyed your reputation, forever, and provided entertainment for a couple hundred people. I would congratulate you, but your arrogance will no doubt prevent you from believing it.
“Aren’t you beginning to feel time gaining on you? It’s like a predator. It’s stalking you. Oh, you can try and outrun it with doctors, medicines, new technologies, but in the end, time is going to hunt you down and make the kill.” –Dr. Tolian Soran
I seriously doubt there are enough beats left in your weak and depraved heart to actually change.
The irony, of course, is that you becoming a decent human being would result in the “Lickspittles” dissolving. You could literally destroy this community by simply giving them nothing to talk about.
But you won’t. You can’t. You will lose until that rotten, diseased heart of yours just gives up on keeping you alive.
Who could blame it?