Blatantly Stolen but Properly Attributed

A bit back, Colonel Victor Troll Poker (Damn, I do love that name with the avatar. It’s all kinds of awesome. Shout out! Whoot!) posted over at Hogewash! on one of John’s posts about Bill. It summed up quite nicely what the vast lickspittle/zombie horde’s feelings about Bill Schmalfeldt are, what we think of his actions generally, and what we think, loosely, what he should do about it. Or rather, not do.

Because it was such an awesome post, I asked CVTP if I could have permission to repost it. Now seems an appropriate time. Thanks, Colonel!


Hey Shakey. . . you fail again, as it always was, as it ever more shall be. Bill Schmalfeldt is an engine of failure. William Schmalfeldt is a machine that produces nothing but epic, tragic failures. Congratulations, William Preston Schmalfeldt- you will die, eventually (if not soon enough,) and your legacy will be nothing more than a detailed catalog of failure after failure. Congratulations- you have managed to assemble a library of incompetent hate that will be known to the Internet for as long as it exists.

Your impotent out-lashings serve only to amplify your utter defeat. There is no point in even trying to rehabilitate your legacy- its permanently destroyed. 500 years from know, people using whatever replaces Google will run your name and get literally hundreds of pages documenting your depravity and worthlessness. The sad thing is that you built this, yourself, with your own copious, obesity enhanced sweat. You WORKED at this masterpiece of failure. You actually thought, no seriously, you did – that you would actually be able to exact revenge on the people you decided to hate.

But they are laughing at you. Krendler (who you still have not identified,), Edgren (who you are afraid of), Grady, Aaron, and, of course, Hoge- none of them fear you. At most, you annoy and disgust them. But resisting your insane rantings has become such a badge of honor that they have built an entire community solely based on laughing at your mind-boggling incompetence.

Bravo, Shakey. You have destroyed your reputation, forever, and provided entertainment for a couple hundred people. I would congratulate you, but your arrogance will no doubt prevent you from believing it.

“Aren’t you beginning to feel time gaining on you? It’s like a predator. It’s stalking you. Oh, you can try and outrun it with doctors, medicines, new technologies, but in the end, time is going to hunt you down and make the kill.” –Dr. Tolian Soran

I seriously doubt there are enough beats left in your weak and depraved heart to actually change.

The irony, of course, is that you becoming a decent human being would result in the “Lickspittles” dissolving. You could literally destroy this community by simply giving them nothing to talk about.

But you won’t. You can’t. You will lose until that rotten, diseased heart of yours just gives up on keeping you alive.

Who could blame it?


About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Laughing at Losers, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Blatantly Stolen but Properly Attributed

  1. I was smoking a cigarette while reading this.

    I need another cigarette.

    Liked by 10 people

  2. I touched myself in ways the Catholic church says I will go blind. Brava !

    Liked by 4 people

  3. You could literally destroy this community by simply giving them nothing to talk about. — Message delivered years ago. He ignored it and went doxxing.

    Liked by 8 people

    • Accipe remedium, Tremule! says:

      His compulsion to get the last word in won’t allow him to take the only way out.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Remember, we did that a few years ago? Ignored him for maybe a week before he got totally wound up and made it so he couldn’t be ignored.

        Funny how when we gave him what he claims to want, he lost it.

        Liked by 3 people

        • This Other Latin F*cker says:

          True story. Everyone ignored him. No one mentioned him. But Bill just HAD to start his shit again. He seems to have something in him that makes him crave the humiliation he earns every time he starts his shit with a new group of people. How did that work with the Knot crew Bill?? It seems it worked about as well as it worked with everyone else. Everyone just points and laughs at the fat fucking failure you are. Name ONE thing you have succeeded at. Just one. Navy? FAIL. Stolen Valor and your own admitted shirking of duty says you sucked at that. Investigative Journalist? FAIL. You lied about being one…unless you can provide any hard hitting article published by a real new organization. DJ? Fail. Fired from every job. Truck Driver? FAIL. Writer? FAIL. Hell, even you admitted you spent more then you made to put your books out so fail again. Husband? FAIL Father? FAIL Govt employee? FAIL. You posted 10’s of thousands of posts, including ones that indicate you really wanted to have anal sex with a minor male, while the taxpayer was paying you to do other things. Heck even the govt wanted your ass gone. Put you on a Performance Improvement Plan before booting you right? Plaintiff? FAIL 7 times so far.
          About the only think you seem to have become good at is gathering restraining orders. You got that down pat.

          Liked by 2 people

  4. Kyle Kiernan says:

    That giggling shitwit still sucks air while I get to visit my beloved in an urn?
    I am going to track down fate and punch it in the face.

    Liked by 6 people

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