Control and Contretemps

Posted on August 30, 2016 by The Dread Pirate Zombie

Over at the lovely Artisanal Craft Blog, our good friend Dave was discussing how it’s really and truly not a good idea to 1) continue to comment on something your lawyer has told you that you really shouldn’t and 2) to use violent imagery in an apophasis towards someone. Despite using a metric ton of context, someone still had an issue with it. The problem? Why, the very first letter of the alphabet.

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Yes, dear zombie readers. Bill Schmalfeldt has his metaphorical panties in a twist over the word “A.” Apparently not realizing that it is COMPLETELY CORRECT to characterize a singular something as “A Something,” Bill has to insist that that little “A” be both changed and added to, transforming it into a “MY.” As if that would COMPLETELY change the entire meaning of what was said and makes it so EGREGIOUS that a correction MUST BE MADE!!!!11!!1! ZOMG!

What a delightful little contretemps he has made for himself. Quibbling over a little “A.” Nothing could be more humiliating than insisting that just that – out of ALL the entire article Dave wrote – is incorrect.

But you have to ask yourself why oh why would anyone decide to make a fool of themselves on the Internet over a single letter?

The answer? Control. More precisely, the need to have control over things.

Bill Schmalfeldt doesn’t like what people are doing – repeating and quoting him back accurately and then commenting on it. My proof for this? Can be found in Bill’s very next comment:

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Somebody doesn’t understand either the legal definition of a word and what it is all about in a legal context or the reason behind my newest daily feature. Somebody doesn’t like people doing things that he doesn’t want them to do.

Bill Schmalfeldt wants to control how he looks to people. Perhaps Bill Schmalfeldt shouldn’t have said all those things that he did in the manner that he said them. Perhaps he shouldn’t have photoshopped a woman unknown to him as riding on a giant penis as “punishment” for something that she didn’t do. Then he might actually look like a normal person to people who didn’t have the visual proof of his own words and deeds on the Internet in front of them.

Instead we are left with the vision of Bill Schmalfeldt that HE has presented to the world at large.

He doesn’t like that very much.

About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Butthurt, FAIL Raaaage!, Hypocrisy, Laughing at Losers, Look Deep in the Mirror, PLM, Spoliation of Evidence. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Control and Contretemps

  1. Neal N. Bob says:
    August 30, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    Golden Showers Schmalfeldt and Dave are both wrong about one thing. It’s “lulzsuit,” not “lawsuit.” A lawsuit at least implies a modicum of dignity, which has never been Oliver Wendell Jones’ strong suit.

    That the Diminished Capacity Kid’s captive lawyer doesn’t break up like Harvey Korman every time he even thinks about that filing may be the Eighth Wonder of the World.

    Liked by 7 people

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  2. popcornseller says:
    August 30, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    “What a delightful little contretemps he has made for himself. Quibbling over a little “A.” Nothing could be more humiliating than insisting that just that – out of ALL the entire article Dave wrote – is incorrect.”

    So TDPZ, he just “authenticated” everything else Dave wrote was true and correct?

    IOW, that his violent threat against you was, you know, a violent threat against you?

    Liked by 6 people

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    • Jane says:
      August 30, 2016 at 1:40 pm

      I don’t see how anyone could view it as anything other than a violent threat.

      Liked by 5 people

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      • Techno Jinxx says:
        August 30, 2016 at 1:58 pm

        Stinky would be screaming DEATH THREAT!!11!!!!1111!! from the rooftop of the nunnery if someone were to make a post referring to him with the same imagery.

        Liked by 5 people

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        • Grace says:
          August 30, 2016 at 4:48 pm

          “Stinky would be screaming DEATH THREAT!!11!!!!1111!! from the rooftop of the nunnery if someone were to make a post referring to him with the same imagery.”

          Oh, ABSOLUTELY!

          A few different times in the past, I have made the (very accurate, IMO) observation that the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt will not cease his abuse, threats, stalking, and harassment of good-and-decent people until such time as: (1) he is legally, via law enforcement and the courts, restrained from doing so; or (2) he dies.

          He went OFF! Screeching in blog posts and all over his Twitter account du jour that I was calling upon others to murder him. *smfh*

          What a ridiculous, thin-skinned, intellectually-dishonest, POS pantywaist he is.

          Liked by 6 people

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        • Gus Bailey says:
          August 30, 2016 at 4:50 pm

          No, TJ. This is what he considers a death threat, apparently:

          Liked by 10 people

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    • Canuckamuk (@canuckamuk) says:
      August 30, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      I’m sure a court that issued a restraining order would view it as a threat. (I noticed Bill never threatens the toddler since that last #EPIC ass kicking he took)

      Liked by 2 people

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  3. Jane says:
    August 30, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    It seems most who’ve had the misfortune to learn of the grotesque ghoul’s miserable, wasted existence don’t like, or are revolted by, the image and personality the fat freak presents to the world. Hence being roundly rejected, even by its own children.

    Liked by 3 people

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  4. Dave Alexander (formerly ukuleledave) says:
    August 30, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    One letter from ‘perfect.’ Dang. I’ve almost improved my writing to Schmalfeldtian standards.

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. Minemyown says:
    August 30, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    From Dave’s point of view using “a” is correct, Dave does not have a law suite so he can not say “my” when talking about it. Any editor should know about when to use and not use first person.

    Liked by 5 people

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  6. BusPassOffice says:
    August 30, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    This imagery from a guy who screamed when an old picture of “Mr Bill” and a Zawsaw and considered that a death threat even though it was a decades old comedy BIT by SNL.

    So he must have meant it as a death threat considering the bar he made when he perjured himself by indicating that the clay doll Mr Bill and a sharp object were a criminal act.

    Given this metric that he ALONE created, there must be little doubt that he is envisioning a violent death to Sarah and her family

    Liked by 6 people

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  7. AJ Fornicarius Hoc says:
    August 30, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    I know almost nothing at all about Bill Schmalfeldt that he didn’t tell me himself, with his own webcam, keyboards, and speech-to-text. I’ve read a lot of commentary about him, but absolutely no bona fide assertions of fact about him, that weren’t easily verified from things he posted about himself, or from court records.

    He’s demented. I know this because he said it himself, on multiple occasions, in multiple formats
    He can’t control either his bowels nor his bladder. I know this because he said it himself, on multiple occasions, in multiple formats
    He received a permanent closure of his Outlook account from Microsoft, for some violation of their policies, like distributing malware or child porn. He posted the document from Microsoft saying this, himself.

    You can say the same about most of the things he now claims are defamation. The few things he didn’t post himself, are either opinions, or just jokes.

    No one, not one person, in the entire world of billions of people, is prying into Bill Schmalfeldt’s private life, because he refuses to have a private life,. As he refused to allow his poor, deceased wife to have a private life, or death. No one on the fucking internet needs to know about your incontinence, much less your wife’s. No one so much as asked. Ever.

    SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. YOU. MENTALLY. DEFICIENT. BABOON.

    Liked by 14 people

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