I tried contacting you in public where everyone could see, the way you do it, but you must have been in a blind, drunken JWR stupor or in mid-faceplant after bending over to pet a dog made of horseshit or something, so I’m guessing you missed it.
But a real jourminalist doesn’t give up. So I’m republishing here.
I’m writing a story about an email I came to be holding. It purports to be from your late wife to an unnamed third party. I may or may not have received it from the actual recipient. This trucker who gave me the email told me I could use his name, but according to a certain jourminalist of some renown, real jourminalists NEVER reveal their sources, even if they say it’s okay to do so, or if they lie or provide unsourced documents to a reporter.
Funny, I had always thought that there were acceptable circumstances under which sources could be named, but this jourminalist fellow says “NEVER” so – “NEVER” it is!
Anyhow, I have this email wherein your wife wrote about some of the really quite interesting things she liked to do sexually with this particular has-no-great-need-to-be-anonymous truck driver. And maybe a state trooper or twelve. The details are spectacularly realistic. I am convinced the email is genuine. I was wondering if you had any comment for the record as her First Date Soulmate on this unfortunate allegation of marital infidelity. If she wasn’t dead (and I am only assuming she is based on the fact that you’ve never produced a death certificate as you have demanded of others in the past; for all I can prove she may be in hiding with Bobber), it really would posthumously destroy her reputation, so it only seems fair to give you the opportunity to speak up on her behalf and offer whatever you could as a means of giving her side of the story.
But then I realized what real jourminalists do: if a potential source chooses not to give the dignity of a response to outlandish allegations that have no corroborating witnesses, REAL jourminalists simply take a lack of response as confirmation. REAL jourminalists just assume they are correct! REAL jourminalists only publish the stories that fit their predetermined narrative.
And today I saw something else REAL jourminalists do: if a potential source chooses to give a response that flies in the face of the horseapples a REAL jourminalist is trying to peddle as stew meat, why the REAL jourminalist simply dismisses that source! A REAL jourminalist says “that source doth protest too much!” and chalks up his denials as lies. Sometimes, he even forgets to use his really stupid words like “Methinks,” which always leave his audience laughing at – not with – him. And the REAL jourminalist goes ahead and writes whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whether anyone refuses to speak with him (aka CONFIRMATION) or if someone provides anything other than confirmation (aka A LIE TAKEN AS CONFIRMATION).
So as I see it, there are three options. You can:
- Remain silent, in which case I, a REAL jourminalist following REAL jourminalist rules, conclude that this email and its contents are genuine and publish my story which proves the many allegations regarding your late wife’s side hustle;
- Deny everything, in which case I, a REAL jourminalist following REAL jourminalist rules, assume that you are lying by excessive protestations, conclude that the email and its contents are genuine and publish my story which proves the many allegations regarding your late wife’s side hustle; or
- Confirm everything, in which case I, a REAL jourminalist following REAL jourminalist rules, with independent confirmation that this email and its contents are genuine, publish my story which proves the many allegations regarding your late wife’s side hustle. And if you are worried about being embarrassed , don’t worry! We REAL jourminalists don’t every reveal sources. I can identify you by a code name like KCUFBMUD or something. No one will be the wiser.
I love REAL jourminalist rules, don’t you?
It’s up to you. You can reach me on Twitter @paulzkrendler. I don’t have a lot of time, so if you’re going to respond, hurry.
BILLY SEZ - Adventures in Bill Schmalfeldt's Pretendy Land Internet Courtroom. All Rise! 
The lying loathsome loser already did all within its pathetic ‘power’ to destroy the poor woman, imo. The fat freak bragged about sleeping with her the night they met, and went on to mention her many, many prior one-night-stands. The depraved and dementia-addled DUMBF5CK ignored several pleas from the horde to take her to a doctor, and instead, claimed losing half of her body weight over a few months was done “the old fashioned way.”
Then the grotesque ghoul gleefully live-blogged her terminal illness, detailing every mortifying detail of her suffering. The malicious monster included photos of her in her underwear, and even sent out a photo of her near death. When she began her “death-rattle” the narcissistic nut-shuffler abandoned her to describe it on the internet, leaving her to die all alone.
Within minutes of her death, or from when the blathering buffoon noticed and reported her death, the griefiest grieving griever evah was tweeting out its vile “to-do” list. #1 was rebranding. She didn’t make the top five.
And that, boys and girls, is out that vile villain became self-humiliating and self-described
Happy My Wife Died woo hooTheMerryWidower.LikeLiked by 2 people
Don’t forget he offered to send out pictures of her corpse. The only question is whether he had already taken them, or would do so if challenged.
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Good, though revolting, point.
I don’t have any question about post-death photos. I’d bet a lot the grotesque ghoul not only took them, but was in some.
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I still say he never took those photos.
There is no way he could have kept himself from playing “clever” gotcha games with them, like he did with Hoge and agiledog with the photo of his wife in the hospital. Heck, he probably would have been dumb enough to make it an attachment on the “McCain” email (ostensibly from before she died, but nothing is too dumb for our Billy!)
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As much as it loves taking photos of its vile self, and as much as it loves making (more) stupid faces in those revolting selfies, and as much as it loves trying to paint its vile self as pathetic, and as much as it loves making up little drama-plays starring its vile self as hero/victim, I don’t think the grotesque ghoul could have resisted taking several to illustrate the griefiest grieving grief evah.
But then due to ENVY-fueled rage, stoooooopidity, dementia, or just plain old drunk (JWR is red, *hic* *HIC*), the repulsive reprobate told us that it ignored its dying wife as she died (that blog post about her “death rattle” wasn’t going to write itself!), so she died all alone. All of those selfies with the corpse wasted. At least that’s how I’d bet.
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Jane, I have to disagree with you. Maybe Bill exercised self restraint for one morning, maybe he had a moment of decency, maybe the camera was too far away without someone to fetch it for him.
But if he had those photos, there’s no way Hoge v. Kimberlin would have gotten this far without some ham-handed attempt by bill to frame Hoge for putting those pictures on the internet.
But what’s more likely:
a) Bill showed a gram of decency for one morning.
b) Bill got distracted trying to figure out the new coffee maker, then the folks came to pick her up before he could find the camera.
c) Bill took those photos and has shown decency and self restraint every day of his life since then?
I’m going with (b), myself.
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Warm, soapy showers.
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Up to her armpits.
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Strongest smelling… I’ve ever encountered.
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Yeah, I’m sure she appreciated having such mortifying details put on the internet so they can be known forever by generations of strangers not even born yet. /sarc
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*shudder*
So incredibly twisted, revolting, disgusting, deranged, demented, and just so far past the line as to indicate the grotesque ghoul has no idea such a line exists.
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I know one of the state troopers. I can confirm the orgy stories. Once when DF was in the hospital getting his brain fried.
Don’t bother asking me. Consider it CONFIRMED by a reliable third party.
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But, but, but… you’re just trying to get a comment about a “woman” who would blank anyone’s blank in exchange for 40 cents.
Definitely take a denial as confirmation. Or, if there is no denial forthcoming (You’re gonna need a Doom Clock here, dude.) – take that as confirmation also. That’s how all the “real” journamalists with 30-years experience do it.
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The thing about DOOM CLOCKS is…
If you know when it’s going to go off, then you retain some power. If you don’t, then you really can’t afford to waste any time, can you?
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I think it cowardly when someone refuse to confirm or to deny. It is particularly cowardly to say that you can neither confirm nor deny because your memory has been hazy ever since you died. DISGRACEFUL.
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