Sexist Pigs and the Balloons Who Love Them

Every girl knows it’s walking the danger zone. We like the “bad boys.” The ones with the “edge” to them. Because we want them to prove to us that they can shed that tough exterior and become soft pussy cats for us. And oh, they fight for us. How we like that.

It seems that Bill Schmalfeldt has caught himself someone who likes that he will “fight” for her.

Now, I know that some people will say, Morgana! Don’t be assuming that’s a real live person! There is no proof it’s not a blow up doll! To those people I say – no worries. In this day and age, blow up dolls can have person-hood too! It’s totally not unheard of and I’m certain is covered by one of the 64 different genders that I’m told is out there.

But this balloon has apparently “posted” some not so visually appealing pictures, both of itself and closeups of its teeth. Both of which are not quite as aesthetically pleasing as one would hope for in a latex companion. And people have remarked upon that. Because Pinkie Pie Balloon bears certain characteristics that Bill Schmalfeldt has remarked upon negatively in the past when they were associated with other people. Most notably with females such as his recent articles on Ginny Thomas that I covered last week, and other members of the zombie horde, as well as one of Bill’s other nemesis – Lee Stranahan.

Oh look! Bill’s gonna marry Pinkie Pie so she can get insurance for her teeth. I’ll just say good luck for getting together the money for the enormous out of pocket co-pays that will be necessary to deal with the snaggle-tooth mess that is PP, especially seeing as how Bill is soooo impoverished that he can’t pay the filing fees on federal lawsuits to sue people.

Also, don’t expect the repairs to be very good because the teeth on blow-up dolls seem to be very small and appear to run along a seam line and those can be nearly impossible to fix once punctured.

Oh, now that’s rich. Bill Schmalfeldt talking about slut shaming people. I’ll leave that be for now. But really, this is about how Bill Schmalfeldt can’t understand *why* people would use his tactics back on him – I mean we all know PP isn’t real and he’s just typing for her anyway. But sssshhhh! We don’t want to pop his balloon now do we?

BZZZZZT Wrong!

It apparently is just a-ok to make fun of MEN in Bill Schmalfeldt’s world because of their teeth but NOT for WOMEN.

Now, coming from such a PROGRESSIVE and LIBERAL person like Bill Schmalfeldt, doesn’t that sound every so very sexist? Why yes. Yes it does. Because to the progressive, men and women are supposed to be equal in all things. I mean, what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander. And if it’s a gender thing that Bill is building a distinction on, then guess what?

Bill Schmalfeldt is a de facto sexist. Which we already knew.

But perhaps this was such a shock to the sweet blow-up dollie. She thought her bad boy was just fighting for her which can be ever so sweet and endearing. But really, he was just showing his inherent sexism. Perhaps, then, that is why Pinkie Pie felt the need to…. assert herself being the strong, liberal blow-up doll she is. She didn’t like being put in her place by a sexist.

Which led to this it seems.

Poor guy looks so stunned and in shock that she inflicted that on him. Oh my. Now Bill, it’s okay. Men can call into domestic violence hotlines as well now a days. Nobody thinks badly of them. You don’t have to put on a front anymore. You don’t have to say that Pinkie Pie just sprung a leak and startled you so you fell off the bed.

We all know the truth. It’ll be okay. It won’t mean that you’re any less of the partial man you were before. It’ll just show that sexism is never, EVER okay, because even your blow up dollie will educate you properly.

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About The Dread Pirate Zombie

Member of the Zombie Horde and Lickspittle Minion. Out to eat your brainnnsssss. And a few other sweetbreads because they are so nomm-y. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
This entry was posted in Bill, Laughing at Losers, PLM. Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Sexist Pigs and the Balloons Who Love Them

  1. Dianna says:

    Wow, I like your style!

    Phone, home, on the couch.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. gmhowell says:

    Bill won’t call in. Diane is performance art, not inflatable. If the cops show up, he would catch a psych hold for self harm.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. theman9876 says:

    Has it been determined where Bill’s Teethly Challenged Blow-Up Doll (TCBUD) [REDACTED]just prior to meeting the Cabin Boy?

    Like

  4. WWFD says:

    Billy’s post are classic signs of domestic abuse. Strange unexplained or widely implausible stories of how one acquired said bruises. The repeated assurances that everything is fine or getting better. The deflection and lashing out at others. Classic abuse signs.

    There is help Bill, you don’t need to feel shame that your being abused by your “significant other”. It doesn’t make you less of a man that your woman hurts you. You can let the air out and seek help. She not being a doll if she is hurting you. There no need to wrap this up in plastic and suffer.

    Like

  5. Pablo says:

    It seems that Bill Schmalfeldt has caught himself someone who likes that he will “fight” for her.

    There would be no fighting for “her” needed had Blob not tried to weaponize “her” and insert “her” into his demented little battles.

    “He loves me so much! Look how he’s calling 911 for me!”

    “Well, yeah, but he also shoved you out in front of that bus that just ran you over, Lady Dumbfuck.”

    Liked by 4 people

    • Yeah, there wouldn’t be a need to “fight” for her if he hadn’t shoved her in front of the bus. That’s Bill Schmalfeldt! Hiding behind the skirts of CNv2.0. Such a shame. She’s such a … cute … blow-up dollie. Waste of good plastic, I tell ya!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. JeffM says:

    Can you be that kind of “bad” boy if you simply are ineffective? I know that “bad” can be used as a synonym for inefftive (as in Hillary Clinton ran a bad, nay a deplorable, campaign.) I didn’t know that women had a secret desire for ineffective men. Some knowledge comes too late: why didn’t someone tell me when I was 17? No wonder Willie is closing in on his 4th wife, which will put him 3 ahead of me.

    Willie is the boy for ineffective. In just the last few days, Hoge did not even need to respond to Willie’s latest takedown notice, which was rejected out of hand. Willie’s latest doom clock, designed to get his imaginary friend out of the controversy that Willie attracts the way a dog collects fleas, failed like all his previous doom clocks. This one provoked an absolutely brutal (but not defamatory) critical essay on how inartistic Willie’s imagination is. And finally Willie forgot to pull up the side rails on his crib and consequently tumbled out and got a bruise, which, in Steve McQueen fashion, he is showing to the world for sympathy. That is being a BAD boy indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Bill uses teeth against anyone, male or female.

    And the co-pays to fix those things? Trust me, tetracycline baby here, so my six year molars came in needing fillings. And then were used to anchor my braces.

    I need a four tooth bridge at about $4K, call it $1K per tooth. Back when I was working I was covered by two insurance plans, and we still couldn’t afford it since the insurances would only cover under $1K each. Anyone who hasn’t figured out that dental “insurance” is more of a pre-paid plan 99% of the time isn’t paying any attention. Those plans still have the maximum payout that my first ever plan had back in the 80s. Sadly, dental costs have gone up just a bit since then.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. John “Minemyown” Doe says:

    Breitbit News‏ @breitbitnews
    Replying to @breitbitnews @mrvogon and

    George Howell will have to explain his role as a mule for a forged letter…and this. /21
    9:39 PM – 12 Jun 2017

    Does he have that letter in his procession? It is my opinion that he has the original draft of it on his computer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • gmhowell says:

      If Bill had actually accused me of a crime, it might be interesting. But even if I had dropped something in the mail, so what? Nothing illegal about that. Seriously, if he wants to threaten me, he’ll need to come up with a better threat than “I’ll tell people you were an unwitting dupe”.

      Almost noon, so he’ll soon be rolling out of bed. After a little hair of the dog, I’m sure he will explain himself.

      On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 10:52 AM, BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon wrote:

      > John “Minemyown” Doe commented: ” Breitbit News‏ @breitbitnews Replying to > @breitbitnews @mrvogon and George Howell will have to explain his role as a > mule for a forged letter…and this. /21 9:39 PM – 12 Jun 2017 Does he have > that letter in his procession? It is my opinion that” >

      Liked by 4 people

      • Impotent in many ways, is Bill Schmalfeldt indeed. He proves it over and over and over again. Without anyone asking him to for that matter.

        He really and truly thinks that his empty threats mean something. It’s amazing. One has to step back and look at the spectacle to fully appreciate it.

        Liked by 3 people

      • It wouldn’t matter if he could prove you had mailed such a letter, nor if he could prove you knew what was in it, or even if you wrote it and it was all your idea. It’s not a crime to create or mail such a document.

        It was not authenticated, as Schmally claimed he didn’t create it. So it was never entered into evidence, and he was never damaged by it being proffered. It’s an utterly meaningless event, no matter what the actual provenance of the document.

        Which is all just a thought exercise. Because no one actually cares, for reasons I will not share with the perverted and porcine parrot, and his pimply pal Pinkie Pie.

        Liked by 4 people

        • Dr_Mike says:

          Yes, but while it was never authenticated, it was turned over to the court. And, IIRC per Hoge a while back, likely destroyed by the court after a year.

          So even if (I said IF) Bill were telling the truth, he has no proof. Or no more than 80 proof.

          Liked by 4 people

          • gmhowell says:

            Like all painful truths, Bill won’t address this either.

            On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 11:03 PM BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwag

            Liked by 3 people

    • Techno Jinxx says:

      Yes indeed…
      where is the letter in question??

      after all it hasn’t made an appearance (at this point) in years.

      so if Shakey produces a “copy”…where did he get said copy from??

      Liked by 3 people

  9. Onlooker says:

    Well, Bill and blow-up,doll are not exactly a superhero team-up. MFEO, both sort of insecure, depressed and lonely, lost in fantasy existence, because they are shut out and shut off from who they’d rather be. In both cases, (or the same case) the false world has led “them” by steps lower in to not only baba,it’s and drivel, but depravity so comfortable they can’t even recognize it for what it is.

    Truth partner is the sort who would read Bill’s Kick me out of Kos piece and admire…its purity. I can hardly think of a better match. Bill’s late endentulous wife was a capable slave and helpmeet, but she was always, if ineffectually, encouraging restraint. Here there is joy in a kindred spirit; Damaged or (and) unpatchable people with chronic rape fetishes and delusions of adequacy ASSEMBLE! (to little effect except a chance for each to out grift the other and consoling mutual folly.)

    Liked by 3 people

    • gmhowell says:

      Onlooker, the similarities are what make it likely that Diane is Bill in drag.

      On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 12:15 PM, BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon wrote:

      > Onlooker commented: “Well, Bill and blow-up,doll are not exactly a > superhero team-up. MFEO, both sort of insecure, depressed and lonely, lost > in fantasy existence, because they are shut out and shut off from who > they’d rather be. In both cases, (or the same case) the false w” >

      Liked by 1 person

    • Paul Krendler says:

      Well, they ARE superheroes in a way…they’re like the Wonder Twins, as in “I WONDER what they think they’re going to get out of this besides MOAR BUTTHURT!”

      Plus, dancing bucktooth monkey:

      Liked by 3 people

      • gmhowell says:

        Together they don’t have two teeth as nice as Gleek’s.

        On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 12:50 PM, BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon wrote:

        > Paul Krendler commented: “Well, they ARE superheroes in a way…they’re > like the Wonder Twins, as in “I WONDER what they think they’re going to get > out of this besides MOAR BUTTHURT!” Plus, dancing bucktooth monkey: > https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/superfriends/images/5/” >

        Liked by 4 people

  10. Onlooker says:

    Baba= banality

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Tao says:

    In the movie, Mississippi Burning, there is a great scene wherein a local small town mayor, complicit in the murder of three Freedom Riders, is threatened with having his scrotum cut off with a razor blade. The question to the mayor is “Do you know how much you bleed when your scrotum is cut off?”

    Billy and CN#2 don’t live that far from Mississippi. Cultures in SC and MS are somewhat similar.

    Death Threat Eleventy!!!!1!!!!1!!11!!!111111

    Liked by 1 person

  12. BusPassOffice says:

    Most men look for a sharp wit, devastating intelligence, and a sparkling personality in a ideal women, bill looks for 3200 psi

    Liked by 2 people

    • JeffM says:

      Hey, there is another side to the question. When they blow at 3200 psi, you really get a helluva ride.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Grace says:

        “When they blow at 3200 psi, you really get a helluva ride.”

        … into the arm of a cheap hotel room chair, apparently.

        Liked by 2 people

        • JeffM says:

          Ahh that explains it. I was perplexed by how high a bed would have to be or how low a chair would have to be for falling out of bed onto the arm of a chair to result in the injuries shown. But detailed computations show that a 3200 psi blow out could lift Willie’s mass at least 2 inches inches above his guard rails at a 45 degree angle and propel him, with a horizontal velocity vector of 23.4 mph, across the room. With a person of normal weight of course, we would be talking escape velocity so Willie was very lucky. Nevertheless, I’d suggest a lower pressure in the future, more in the zoftig range.

          Liked by 1 person

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